Tuesday, December 24, 2013

happy humping festivus


HAPPY HUMPING FESTIVUS

In case you were never a “Seinfeld” fan, Festivus is an alternate Christmas celebration without the commercialism, a perfect holiday otherwise except the founder was a bit off as there is a bare metal pole for a tree and one of the traditions is “airing of grievances” ( which as can imagine never goes over well, especially when your next door neighbor is getting cool toys and you are stuck with your father hollering at you about your nose picking practices ).  I use it as an alternate way to cuss out Christmas when small children and extra sensitive Mormons are hanging around, nice guy that I am, attuned to the feelings of others.  For you that are new here, I’ve hated Christmas for some time.  The holiday was hard when the kids were small and in the custody of their mother.  Then, turn of the century working for Dollar General the corporate punk ass bitches kept starting selling Christmas crap a month earlier every year until my last year the truck arriving around the end of July was full of Yuletide plastic Chinese crap.  Nothing like pushing Christmas in July to kill that spirit.  And lately, working the food bank, Christmas starts in November with a huge increase in donations, culminating in a mad scramble as everyone is screaming for priority immediate service on pick-ups.  I don’t feel too full of holiday spirit by the time it is all over.

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Now, I’d like you all to spare a thought for all those luckless wage slaves out there who you are unknowingly screwing this Christmas.  Despite what Rush says, that everyone can be rich if only you try hard enough and all those on assistance are robbing him blind, there are actually financially challenged  people out there that are working poor.  They work hard and long and nothing is going to change that ( if anything, things will just get worse ).  And they get little for their efforts.  People like single mothers and even second wage earners through certain circumstances, are stuck working crap jobs for crap wages.  My point being, while my poverty is genteel, theirs is involuntary and harsh.  They aren’t starving, they have cars and cells, but after rent and now the Chief Africans mandatory health tax, very little else.  They are smarter than Rush and don’t piss away tens of thousands of dollars in tuition, since they know the jobs colleges promise aren’t there ( the ones that are, are one job for every three graduates.  Anymore, school debt is a suckers bet ).  They aren’t advancing, and it isn’t because they are lazy.  And when your stupid fat ass goes strolling in to their work place on late Christmas eve or any part of Christmas day, you ain’t doing them any favors.  You are green lighting the corporates decision to stay open those hours.  If enough customers boycott any establishment screwing their workers on holidays ( when your choice is working Christmas morning or having no job, your kids can do without mommy at home ), just for those hours they should be closed by any definition of decency, you can spread a little Christmas cheer next holiday.

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I will not be posting an article on Christmas.  Also, big hugs and little kisses to the wonderful minion who sent a way cool solar light ( WakaWaka brand ).  Thanks!  Happy Humping Festivus, everyone!

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7 comments:

  1. Melvin:

    You hate Christmas?.... Do you hate Mormons?



    Later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How can I hate Mormons if I go out of my way to be sensitive to them? Think about these things before you ask, please.

      Delete
  2. Lord Bison of the Great Basin and King of Coiffure;

    Happy Holidays to you, my dear Overlord and to all the White Trash Irregulars out there throughout the Globe and this day. I truly wish everyone of you; Peace on Earth, Good Will towards Men (and Women and Dogs).

    This being said, I'm very happy that this year we aren't having to fight the Skittles Army in the front yard, nor down the road, nor at the local Wal-Mart as of yet. For everyday we aren't fighting, we are preparing for the confrontation where, through our combined savvy and tenacious fighting spirit we will have our victory over them and then we can begin our combined arms operations against the Blue Blood Banker Masters as they begin to return from South America. Pray for Victory and Peace on our terms!

    Keep, keeping it real James!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah, cats just know you have good will torwards them eternally - OR ELSE!. Just like you know your folicular locks are the finest.

      -Grey

      Delete
    2. Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are cunning and you sleep with your mouth open.
      - Anon.

      Delete