Monday, September 2, 2013

two of two today


NERD POWER, ACTIVATE!

I strained my damn brain writing not just one but TWO times this weekend so today we are going to take it a little easier and go with a more lighthearted subject.  I tried to turn on the TV news Saturday night in anticipation of King Kenya’s molecules mixing with the atmospheric pollution after the Kremlin nuked his ass and the rest of the twats in DC, but I only came across a crap load of football games.  Why report the news when it will just upset people?  So I had no idea what was going on over the weekend.  This morning, getting back on the Internet, I still didn’t see anybody reporting anything of note so I’m just filing Syria away as another distraction from, well, something.  If things are still working toward spiking your blood pressure, you can always top off your preps to try to feel better about yourself.  Even if you only have a few months food, just by buying white flour by the big bag you increase your food by one month per $10.  Use the flour to bulk up your calories.  Just in case you don’t think you have time to futz with wheat kernels and grinders and such.  And if you get a $5 plastic storage tote you can store four bags in that with the odds of mice and such getting into it greatly diminished.  It isn’t any cheaper than kernels in a poly bucket, but you can buy it immediately and at many different places in town. 

*

A few other measures such as withdrawing most of your money from the bank, topping off your disposable battery supply, getting a few extra gallons of bleach ( fifteen drops [ eyedroppers are usually in the baby section ] per gallon of water disinfects nicely ) and topping off the gas tank and you should be able to relax.  I’m never going to be finished prepping, but I’ve gotten to the point of never needing to panic about extra supplies, either.  I’ll never even think about running into town to fight the mobs.  I can’t think of one thing I simple must have to survive ( living off grid is nice in that you very quickly learn to do what it takes to avoid everyday trips in to town- perfect practice for avoiding last minute shopping as Armageddon unfolds ) that is at the store.  I might need a lot more of some things, but at this point it is just perfecting.  So, I have about zero worries about Syria pedaling into town this morning.  As the saying goes- What, me worry?  Now, when I’m not worrying about other stuff, my brain meanders nilly wily and comes up with some bizarre stuff.  Today, I’ve solved yet another problem with pure brilliance and astounding insight.  Of course, it is going to take some Super Nerd Powers.

*

As a young lad I was rather the dork, the nerd, the dweeb.  I was skinny as a rail and about as long, greasy hair, really bad acne and braces.  So I was a bit withdrawn.  I couldn’t wait to end the Imposed Daily Prison Sentence- Youth Division ( school ), and get home to my books and role playing games ( you know, Dungeon And Dragons ).  I read through stacks of library books weekly and I bought pretty much every role playing game on the market.  Not too much to play them but to read and reread about the worlds they represented.  You’d be surprised how many there were.  Those blatantly copying D&D, the names being about the only difference ( Tunnels And Trolls ).  There were apocalypse games, WWIII games ( Twilight 2000 ), sci-fi ( Traveller ), spies, all kinds of crap.  When the gals at the hobby shop called me when my game came in ( sometimes I got them UPS ), they had a great chortle as I showed up twenty minutes later after having come top speed on my bike from out of town ( we lived out of the city limits and on a dirt road ), huffing and puffing with great excitement ( and, as a side note, having had pretty much every game and game supplement, I’m pretty familiar with all the eras game illustrations depicting the female fighters- and it is interesting that the early 80’s idea of geek uber-sexy is now everyday fashion.  For instance, the tuck under bra and shirt that are sprayed on ).  It wasn’t until I got a year into my first military post and I discovered beer that I started shedding my nerdness ( some of the metamorphosis was painful to remember such as the phase when everybody wore sleeveless T-shirts of extremely bright florescence ). 

*

But at heart I’ll always be a nerd.  Now I’m a trash talking, super ninja surplus bolt action toting military haircut wearing ladies’ man, but scratch the surface and there is nerd.   So as I’m coming into work this morning, wearing my slightly high water slacks ( bastard Wal-Mart crap shrunk every washing ) and having both baskets stuffed with water bottles and hanging bags of trash ( the two baskets do illicit some remarks.  I’ve had punk ass bitch kids holler at me “Hey, Elliiioooot” as I pass their house- you know, from the movie ET and the scene with the flying bike ), my key ring secured by a lanyard attached to a belt loop, only missing one or two mandatory nerd clothing accessories ( I have yet to wear suspenders or have those eyeglass holders made of elastic- yet ), and naturally when I think of a great idea that will look retarded and outlandish I think nothing of it.  I mean, it ain’t like I’m going to look any sillier.  It hit me out of the blue, it now being dark as I ride into work, I need a bike light.  I had them, the blinking red ones, but after I almost got run over I switched to a very bright yellow vest with reflector stripes.  That is much more visible.  But I’d still like a light, just as a supplement.  And I suddenly get it.  I had mentioned them in my writing the day before.  Patio LED white lights on the stick you place in the ground on paths.  I can zip-tie them to my baskets, front and back.  Sure, they will look really nerdy.  But they are a whole buck, and I don’t ever have to replace the batteries.  Not for years.  And, as a bonus, I’m actually celebrating my grand status as King Nerd, for all to see!  I can’t wait to get home and install them.

END

23 comments:

  1. "I have yet to wear suspenders"

    You should try them sometime Jim. They're actually pretty comfortable, more so than a belt. With suspenders, you can wear looser, more comfortable fitting pants, and they will stay up, while not constricting your waist.

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    1. Barely on topic- watching the TV show COPS, the Sheriff's guys up in Washington state somewhere have suspenders for their belts ( looks similar to the web gear in the military ). Having toted all that crap-and without a lot of doo-dads like tasers and spray-I can't believe not everybody sees how sensable this is. Takes a lot of weight off your hips.

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  2. "Hail Nerdiness, and Onward for the Glory of Bisonia!!!"

    Loyal Minion

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    1. And All Bow To The Smelly. The Enfield ( SMLE )silly, not my ass.

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  3. Yes, but for the morning rides you will have to remove the batteries at night. They may not last till sunrise. Of course his Highness already knows this but for all his minions about to reproduce this idea. I did once see an old guy in an old Ford Ranger pickup with a yard light stuck in each of the holes of the bed rails. Come to think of it he had nice hair.....Lord Bison LOL

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    1. The problem with the battery removal is the wear and tear on cheap plastic. The bumps will shorten the life as it is. I'm basing my expectations on my home lights still burning bright as I leave for work.

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    2. See if you can mount a simple slide switch somehow Jim? Problem solved if you can?

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    3. Should be easy enough if you have any experiance. Anyone? I know you remove a flat flexable piece of plastic to activate the thing from the store.

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    4. The ones from Target have a little on and off switch.

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    5. Do you remember a price? I love the idea, much more versatle.

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  4. Sweet! auto on, built in solar charging, weather resistant, lightweight, and reasonably cheap and durable...
    The only downside is the excessive bulk, but a hacksaw or sharp bolt cutters can take care of that...If you care that is.
    Hint- mine actually use AA rechargable batteries that you can replace by opening the light up. If figure if the Led bulb burns out I now have a stealth solar AA battery charger...

    -Grey

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    1. Yes, certainly cheaper than a $15/20 charging unit. Not that those are a bad idea, better quality. But the stealth part is a good idea I hadn't considered. Solar will be a target soon enough cause you can never have enough to play Playstation on your plasma after the apocalypse.

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  5. $10 Root Cellar: And Other Low-Cost Methods of Growing, Storing, and Using Root Vegetables

    Food Preservation Book Package: Food Drying and Food Canning

    Both books are free on Amazon today.

    I'm planning on using the Wife as transportation but I'd like a Worksman cycle to "coast" about.

    Gil

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    1. On the pricey side, but not bad compared to most US made companies. I'd love to have the trike with back basket turned into a metal box and hauling a trailer. Serious cargo. Course, getting up a hill...Thanks for the K-book shout out, I got both.

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    2. Loyal Minion Gil;

      Thanks for the heads up with both books. Been looking at getting both of them, but couldn't justify the expense. But you solved that with a quickness. Keep, keeping it real Gil!

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  6. Coyote Brown suspenders go great with a Firefly t-shirt. Also, those old hardback D&D manuals can be used as armor plating. Now I gotta go and dust my action figure collection.

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    1. Dust them? You don't have them behind glass?

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  7. Hold up suspender Co makes suspenders that can be worn under a shirt against the skin. Works great in the summer with a long T shirt.

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  8. In Backwoods Home Magazine (or Countryside) they once had an article about getting some of the better solar patio/path lights and using them indoors as emergency lighting for outages. Leave them out in the daytime to charge and then bring them inside. Some of them are surprisingly bright. He had built stands from scrap lumber to hold them upright on side tables. So that would be a good double duty thing (or triple, if you use them on your bike also.) He said the ones with the largest solar square gizmos on the top were best. Better quality, took a better charge, were brighter and lasted longer each night. If you can only afford one? it could still be a boon.

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    1. I don't dislike BHW, other than the message, but it became too expensive for a lot of info not pertanent to myself. I think I collected most of their books and the yearly sub in a book up to #12. I never refer to them but still nice to have.

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    2. They have some pretty good articles at times, but it can be rather PC along the same lines as Rawles.

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    3. Can't offend any potential reader

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