HIT THE ROAD JACK
I’d like to thank all assorted minions for this day’s gem of an idea. Hitting the road, or migrating. Now, I’m not talking about bugging out, as in a better place to go to avoid teaming masses of asshattery. I’m talking about living in an area that becomes so totally humped that the entire population gets the hell out of dodge. Such as when once fertile farmland turns to desert and there is no choice. If you don’t try to find greener pastures you die. Bugging out is knowing where you will go ( retreat ) and why ( urban area doomed ). Migrations are unplanned with no destination. A good example of this is going to be most of the southwest when there is longer the means to pump water ( or, the snowpack disappears for too many years ). But when we get into such things as Super Duper Volcanic Eruptions ( remember and never forget, 25-75% odds of occurring in your pathetic lifetime ), you are going to run into the need to migrate even from an otherwise desirable area. And it doesn’t even have to come from Nature. Man is more than happy to start wars of ethnic cleansing to jump-start migrations. Now, the thing about migrations is, you ain’t looking at hopping on an airplane. There will be no rail service out of the area. Road surfaces will be destroyed or blocked. You are going shoe leather express.
Americans inherited Baby Jesus’ once in a species event of a gushing waterfall of surplus energy. We squandered it as fast as we could, and in the process we became insanely delusional as to the availability of this resource, going to very embarrassing lengths to convince ourselves the bounty would never end ( if any minion brings up Frack Oil, I shall be forced to cancel your Loyal Minion status, demand the return of the Secret Decoder Ring, and fine you twenty seven Bison Bucks ). We think our demigods, our motor vehicles, are our freedom and our purpose for being. They are going to be your traps come migration time. There is a special federal government agency tasked with nothing more than locking you in place, prohibiting your exit from danger areas. And unlike most Keystone Kop agencies, they can be successful because of the limited number of roads/rails/ports they can control. Your only escape will be on foot. So please dispense with all the Okkie Migration fantasies. I understand most post-apocalypse fantasy stroke rags depend on the standard plot device of 99.9% population die-off and unconstrained shopping thereafter by our Special Forces Super Hero. But even baring the existence of the TSA, you still have to deal with the nasty messy reality of Too Many Other People Spoiling Your Carefully Laid Plans. But even THEN, even if you are not robbed or eaten as you migrate, you still will not make it. Someone at the other end of your path will object to dying so you can live.
Those that migrate will face an almost guaranteed death. There will be no distant paradise NOT already inhabited, and the nature of the die-off is that the Too Much Overpopulation has run squarely into the Not Enough Resources. Let me put this as plainly as can be so you understand me. Those that migrate are self-propelled meat-on-the-hoof. You are delivering yourself to a strangers stew pot. During a famine, there is NO charity. If I were a deity and some stupid sum-bitch thought starving his kid was okay as long as he fed a stranger in need, I’d smite that fool to the lowest bowel of hell. You WILL be eaten. What you need to do is think outside the Hive Mind. We all have Monkey Minds. You can’t escape it. The Group is life. Stay grouped, do not Lone Wolf. And when the natural inclination is to escape and migrate, a strategy that is age old and used to work when the entire globe wasn’t arsehole to elbow, you tend to want to join the group. Because if you stay, there won’t be any more or less resources ( you have ZERO ), but there surely won’t be a group. So you stay with the Hive. Wrong answer. Let the Hive wander away to certain death. Stay with your much smaller new and improved tribe. But you had better have that seven years’ worth of food for everybody. Look, we all acknowledge that we have to stock the crap out of ammo because once it is gone we won’t even see any again. It is an Industrial Age product and we have no choice but to over-pay and over-stock and husband the supply. Once gone, Bad Things Happen. You need to look at grain as the same. It is only affordable because of the Industrial Age. If you stock enough, you don’t need to migrate to your death.
Twelve thousand years ago, give or take the extinction time of Neanderthals or what have you, something happened. Call it a super volcano erupting or an asteroid hitting. Large yummy animals all went extinct ( yes, it could have just been too many people hunting too few herds following a few years of drought. No one knows for sure. Comrade Ol Remus covered one possibility this week about ice core samples. Check it out ). And mankind went Agricultural Age. More is the pity because we went from independent money tribes to Planet Of The Apes centralized, ruled, enslaved giant size tribes. We aren’t meant to be farmers, evolutionarily speaking. We are nomadic meat hunters. But once the herds are gone and the population of monkey’s got too high, we were locked in. So stock your wheat and get over its inadequacy. Otherwise your only choice becomes nomadic cannibalism. Because whether man made global poisoning/mining of all fertile soil, or a soon to blow super volcano, or just running out of enough oil to feed the three thousand mile away city, we are all going to be forced to migrate to survive a denuded area. You can be the one in ten million and plan ahead for this easy and cheaply.
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