Thursday, August 29, 2013

dumb ass yuppie survivalist scum

DUMB ASS YUPPIE SURVIVALIST SCUM

Attention to all Blog publishers. Out of the goodness of my heart, because despite the need to help evolution remove all unworthy from the gene pool ( the Die-Off is the Ultimate Pool Cleaner ) I can’t help myself and feel compelled to lead horses to water even if they won’t drink, I am once again hoping to educate those beyond my small readership. Feel free to reprint this article. You can omit this introduction if you wish, but you may not edit the body of the article. Which includes my blog address. I doubt I’ll find many new readers, but one must try. All Loyal Minions, this is familiar to you, obviously. But please help a brother out and forward this to any blogs you know that might be interested. Or at least the page link as they might not appreciate a huge e-mail.

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Normalcy Bias used to mean that the average prepper/survivalist refused to believe that anything really truly bad was going to happen outside a few natural disasters. They could continue to live in huge urban areas, drive their SUV’s and afford really expensive trophy wives. They could have their cake and eat it too. As long as they stocked a case of MRE’s and thirteen different cool looking plastic poodle shooters, they could sleep the rest of the righteous and all would be Double A-Okay. This mindset is everywhere, from “UN forces will invade so stockpile a concrete fortress atop a mountain” blogs to paper magazines urging you to take out a thirty year mortgage on a homestead, assuming that the bankers will take asparagus for the next payment. Now Normalcy Bias means that all the really gruesome crap happening to us is ignored or downplayed, being The New Normal. As in, it seems to be normal when an earthquake destroys most of a country and years later nothing is back to prior conditions. Normal means a city like New Orleans will NEVER be rebuilt. Normal seems to be that we can double the national debt in one Presidential term, and can do it again and again forever without consequences.

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The New Normal means we can invent e-money by the trillions and inflation won’t appear. New Normal is a third of all houses being underwater. New Normal means radiation from nuclear reactors STILL being emitted from an ongoing meltdown years later won’t ever concern us. New Normal is ALL the worlds super-giant ( the elephants ) oil fields in near double digit yearly decline causing no raised eyebrows. Even though frack oil has been no more than a FIVE percent increase in our daily oil use, we seem to think it means a New Normal of energy independence. In short, folks, the whole system is shaking apart. But because it has been in collapse for several years we seem to find this new condition the new normal and are steadfastly ignoring it. Which is why everyone seems to think they have forever to prepare. What they really have is from zero days to Who Knows How Long. But they all act like they have forever. So they go shopping for three thousand dollar 308 AR’s.

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I’m standing at the food checkout the other day, knowing it will be awhile since Sammy Slackjaw is trying to scan barcodes and making it look like a really difficult Jeopardy question from the category “1834 Opera Writers With Syphilis”. I have the unique talent of always picking the cart with the square wheel and the slowest checkout lane. So I peruse the latest issue of SWAT magazine. What the heck, I loved that one as a hormonal teenager lusting after females and firearms. And there it is, a side by side comparison of the newest category to tingle men’s nipples across this great land, 308 battle rifles in the AR platform. I won’t start again on the loathsome qualities of that rifle design ( and don’t get cocky, AK’ers. You can’t hit a barn over a hundred yards ). What I’m arguing against is the extreme price tag. Anyone who wants to spend this kind of coin on a single survival item is, frankly, either retarded or has more dollars than cents ( get it? Cents, sense ). Or both. They are dumb ass yuppie survivalist scum. They don’t rally want to survive the apocalypse, because without an SUV to drive their lazy ass around, without a pretty wife to attract other eyes away from this wretched life form of a husband, without the tens of thousands of rounds to enable semi-autos to continue firing, saving our poor wheezing bastard the hard manual labor of working a bolt action, life simple won’t be worth living. They were raised on pabulum and every labor saving device known to man, and they shall die with a propane gas fireplace remote in their hand. Nothing is too good for our girly-men in hunter cammo.

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For three grand, you could have it all. And by all, I mean a rifle and ammo, a years worth of food for each family member, land without a mortgage, shelter and anything else you need to survive the collapse of western civilization. You simply can’t do so in luxury. Do you hear the ensuing silence? Almost as if a fart in a church pew was unleashed. Live on grain instead of freeze dried food? Live with ONE firearm instead of one each of every kind ever invented? Live on a fifth of an acre without utilities, on a dirt road? Instead of a third of a million dollar McMansion? Oh, the humanity! How did mankind live like this bare assed savage who somehow hijacked this word processor, long before our beloved Oil Age that simply must last forever because I , your dear reader, simply wish it to be so? Who could live without luxury? Why, I’d rather slit my wrist than live in a cold tent eating gruel and being forced to recon without, SOB!, vests full of AR magazines, their familiar weight reassuring me I can win all firefights if only I send enough un-aimed shots downrange like the super stud ninja warrior I am!

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I’m going to pretend all of you uninitiated into The One True Way Of Frugal Survivalism are not there of your own accord, but were brutally denied education by all “experts” out there who insisted only the rich deserve to survive. Walk towards the light! You can save yourselves and your families, even as you face declining real wages and inflated necessities prices. You can survive off of feed store grain, bolt action hunting rifles, junk land no one else wants, crude shelters and nothing much more. Gear will not help you survive. Attitude will. And if your attitude is that of a whiney privileged bitch-boy, all the expensive gear in the world won’t save you. Avoiding taste fatigue, having the option of multiple wildly shot rounds, living in only the best residences- none of these help you survive. Having a smidge of fortitude to rough-it a bit in life will allow you to prepare for pennies on the dollar. And immediately, since no one knows when the wheels come off this patched up squeaky malformed engine. Anyone telling you that you have twenty years is just as full of it as one who tells you we will all die tomorrow. Don’t let others pick collapse timeline for you. How about you let your family’s well being decide for you rather than your admiration of an “expert”.

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My weekday blog, with access to untold unlimited wisdom. Includes access to my books:

www.jamesmdakin.blogspot.com

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27 comments:

  1. Yes!
    I traded my AK for a real accurate .22 and a bunch of tools and super long ladder that will reach anything I want to get to. An M1903 will reach out further, it is kind of like live as though it was 1755 on the Virginia frontier. You may see the enemy once in 20 years but the big thing is always surviving the next winter. WINTER that is the enemy once you are away from the savages as I will start to call them.

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    1. I feel sorry for the poor bastards down South. A lot of Yankees to kill. Or, perhaps they are patiently waiting and hoping for payback. Anyway, just be careful of the initial die-off. After that it gets more like the ol'timey frontier.

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  2. Been lurking at Dmitry Orlov's blog. Communities that survive seem to be passive types ala Quakers. No need for weapon piss-matches! Let's sing kumbaya!

    Though Dmitry did say (one time, somewhere) that the people who are best prepared for the future would be well practiced in arts that, if practiced today, would be highly illegal.

    In defence of the rapid-fire mighty 5.56mm, I offer Russell's excellent blogging on small arms

    http://reflexionesfinales.blogspot.com/2010/10/skirmishing-with-light-arms-1.html

    "The point is that, as they became available, multi-fire weapons were adopted by troops who were regularly involved in close range skirmish fighting. As range increases, the value of accuracy over volume increase; But in close "quantity has a quality all of its own"'."

    I do believe that Russell also isn't too keen on the AR-15. But I cheerfully ignore this fact!

    Gil

    BTW, those guys with all the ammo and guns are planning to take what they need to survive. Pragmatic Human nature.

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    1. I think we are evenly matched. It will take them just as long to reload a clip as for me to work the bolt ( yes, I'm saying they will burn through it that fast-their 30 to my 1 ).

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  3. Mr. Dakin.
    I'm way ahead of the game, I cash out my 401k and paid a stiff penalty for it (20%). It means nothing to me. If what is on the news, the situation is out of hand now. I live next to a retired officer that I observe and his grandsons play with my relatives and some of them have spill the beans about their preps and that scared the s...out of me. I bough a property with my 401k funds, dirt cheap, already got it furnished and supplied. The funds run out and I was only able to get a tutty tutty after the mandatory 10 days , wich turn into eleven days, and 100 rounds, besides my compound bow and 30 arrows, that is it for defense. I have accumulated a months vacations will start tomorrow the 30th. And I'm taking them. I'll pick up my checks the same day and will cash them. Hoping that I'll be able to get on my way home a reloader primers and powder to keep feeding the tutty tutty. I have to go without the 12 ga. and the 22 l.r. because I can not afford to wait another 10 or more days (holydays). What an idiot, I should have had bought the 12 and 22 years ago, ammo too atshtf everything is going to go to the roof in prices, if anything is available.
    I wanted to say good bye to you because you were my mentor (stupid of me that I didn't listen to you sooner). Thank you and thanks Vlad whether you guy were right or wrong your advice was excellent. We are just f...ing dumb for not taking it a lot earlier. Sorry that I keep my profile anon and that I use my friends computers but OpSec is priority # 1.

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    1. I do hope you are wrong. I'm assuming you think we will piss off the ChiComs and Russkies and it will either be nuke war or complete oil stoppage. Either way, good time for a vacation. Hope to hear from you again. If not, its been real and best of luck!

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    2. I'm hoping that too. but if not I'll be safe for a couple of days more than other people. teotwawki

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  4. I really feel sorry for the people that are soo naïve into believing that only bad things happen to other people or nations. Follow the Mormon doctrine, be prepare. Even if nothings happen you'll have enough food for when the pink slip is handed to you. Or have enough to give to your relatives in need. Or have enough to trade for something you need in a bad situation. The shepple will be stuck in the metro areas without gas or transportation to a secured area, exposing themselves to roving gangs, lack of water or food, medicine , health care. $ 5.00 -$ 10.00 dollars a week could have saved them, but no, they spend every single cent in entertainment. Here in Argentina we used the monies to buy something that can produce instead of entertainment. While you folks pay for. We use family and friends reunions to have a good time.
    I was orphan and never had a present like others kids had, thanks god that I was born a boy and have something to play with my self. I discovered that parts of me could grow a lot bigger and have some attraction to the girls. Got quite a good friends. I got very early experiences about life, family life and of course a lot of free food and clothes that my friends gave me. But of course I piss off a lot of parents. Well that another subject. cheers

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    1. Try "dr. feces finger" ( one word ). It will confuse them more than a moniker so obvious. Glad to help.

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  5. WOW.
    The shit is about to hit the fan and no survival site is talking about preparing or bugging out to save their rear ends.

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    1. Well, there have been so many false reports it is ghard to tell when things are really poodle humped. I'll blather about it today, but bottom line-you're ready or you ain't and last minute panicking won't help ( you should be doing all prudent things like low bank account, cash on hand, etc., already ).

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  6. Jim, as someone who lives on the other side of the pond, you don't realise how lucky you are. $3k is about £1950 to me, and it wouldn't buy an outdoor shithouse door over here.

    We're paying about $8 a US gallon for gas, and my 2.5l Jeep does about 22 to the gallon. Contrary to popular opinion, we are allowed firearms, I have a .22 Brno/Cz bolt rifle, and am allowed to buy 500 rounds at a time, and am allowed 600 in my possession at any one time.

    Something I came across the other day was what we call "Maple peas" they're also known as pigeon/black peas or toor dal. I bought a sack of these, and they cook up really good, and mixed with rice (you've got to cook the peas up first) they're really good. They're also high in protein and vit C, they don't cook to mush, but pop when you bite into them. I bought them at the feed store to try them out, and yes I'm well impressed.

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    1. I think some of the Limey gun laws are less restrictive than New York City ( King Bloomberg residing, saving fat freaks from themselves ). Can't say the beans sound that great. But, if you are hungry...You Can't Have Your Tool Dal If You Don't Eat Your Meat.

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  7. Good post again Lord Bison. I got trolled on another site so I finally reloaded my blogger/google whatever account. Thanks for your daily efforts.

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    1. Hmmm. Can't help notice that it is all about you and says nothing about how wonderful I am.

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    2. On the contrary, My comment "Good post AGAIN" indicates a great admiration of you consistent awe inspiring guidance and stellar sense of humor. I will do better at conveying my unworthiness Lord Bison. LOL

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    3. I was trying to be funny, refering to your account page. That one kind of fell flat :)

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  8. "They could have their cake and eat it too."

    This statement is both absurd and absurdist. What would be the point of having cake if you couldn't eat it. There is a small part of the populace that sells cake to make a profit, but for the rest of us, we procure cake, along with cookies and ice cream with the purpose of eating it.

    When I go to the bakery and buy a nice coffee cake for breakfast, the shop owners, an older German couple, have never said, "I suppose you think you can have your cake and eat it too, you foolish young man." No, because that would be ridiculous. And because I would probably get all up in the poor old guy's grill and sarcastically reply, "Of course not, I don't plan to eat this coffee cake. To the contrary, I'm going to take it home and make love to it, sexy, hot, passionate love that dares not speak its name. And then I plan to spend the rest of the day cuddling with it, and whispering sweet nothings in its ear!"

    Ok, so I went a little too far with that. Everyone knows coffee cakes do not have ears into which one could whisper sweet nothings. But all that is beside the bleeding point because coffee cake also lacks the requisite orifice necessary to satisfactory love making. And I should know because in my misspent youth I have attempted to make love to all manner of foodstuff that wasn't fast enough to run away. And don't get all high and mighty with me, gentle reader, and pretend you haven't, because you are just like me! Oh, the humanity, where is Dr. Fee C. Finger when you really need him?!!?

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    1. And obviously you can't use a bunt cake because the oriface is too big for you. Me, on the other hand...

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    2. Have your cake and eat it too - means to have the cake even after eating it...
      It is of course ideallic and impossible but exactly how most people treat the resources on this limited ball of rock. It is a sphere thus bound and limited. And yet people dream we are not going to run out of X,Y, or Z just because there are a few (quickly disapearing) scaps of un tapped resources out there on the globe - and that doesnt even take into account population growth by the lowest segment of our global society.
      Hundreds of years ago the Western Europeans managed to introduce enough diseases into low tech areas to mostly wipe out the natives then moved in and begin optimizing (for short term profit) usage of the local resources. That surge of profit is disappearing like the last snow in june.
      It is all down hill from here as long as we are stuck on this ball of rock.
      Lord Bison is, as usual, RIGHT on the MONEY.

      -Grey

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    3. Thank you. Praise will get you on the Roll-Over Brownie Point List.

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    4. Mind you, I DONT like that you are so right, and I expect very very long term (several to several dozen generations) we will wise up enough to start getting resources from places other than this rock. It takes a long term plan and dedication so I expect it will be some moderately successful religion doing it (our rewards will be coming for our children from heaven!)...
      How about it Jim, want to start the cult here?
      Call it the church of the holy bolt action...

      -Grey

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  9. Lord Jim:

    Why do you care what the yuppies do? Like most other people, they are just pretending that everything will be ok (at least for them) and that they don't have to do anything more. But the truth is that we all should do more. The odds are that the yuppies will outlast the totally unprepared. And that I will outlast the yuppies. And that you will outlast me. But people in armed, co-operating, sustainable agricultural communities will outlast us all and may even come through on the other side. You have, in the past, made a point of saying that nomadic herder is the way to survive. But you don't have a horse or a herd nor do you work on a ranch or farm with access to horses and animals. By your standard, you are just prepared to last longer than the rest of us - not to survive.
    For the record, I do not own an AR nor do I stock MREs. They are, as you write, not cost effective.

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    1. The agree, I'm only going to last a smidge longer. Of course, by this point of nearly 50 years old I'm a lot less motivated than when I was in my late 30's. But, regardless of excuses, I acknowledge the slight hypocrosy.

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  10. This is the most brilliant take on the state of survivalism in 2013 that I've heard.

    So many of us are so weak that we're even afraid to use the term "survivalist". They're content to call themselves "preppers" and think that by somehow using the term, "prepper", that they will escape the legacy of white supremacy, domestic terrorism, suicide cults, and other bad-press facets of the survivalist diamond.

    This in itself shows extreme weakness. And at its core, this is what our Lord Bison is talking about; that so very many of us are so very weak. He references "The One True Way Of Frugal Survivalism", and I could not agree more that this is the path that everybody should start with when it comes to being a SURVIVALIST. If, after they get their fundamentals right, and they've got a lot of leftover cash, they should do one of two things:

    a) Start reading Rawles and listening to Spirko
    or
    b) Pay tribute to our Lord and Savior, Lord Bison

    Personally, I think option B is the better choice, but it is a free country.

    I once was lost, but now I'm found. Just like any other thing out there, the Survivalist industry is filled with people that want to make a buck. The difference with Lord Bison is that he only wants to make pennies. The charlatans want to make lots of money because they know that you've got lots of money. Lord Bison only wants to make pennies because he knows you've only got pennies.

    Get out of debt and stay out of debt! Start small. Begin with wheat, a bolt action rifle, and a space blanket. Once you get that right, then take in the rest of his teachings. Once filled to the brim with his inscrutable knowledge, then (AND ONLY THEN) are you allowed to dabble in other areas...where you will be, inevitably, ripped off and sodomized by others who claim to have "the knowledge". But you shall soon learn that they, in actuality, only wish to further enslave your "prepper" ass.

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