Thursday, February 7, 2013

the ikea effect


THE IKEA EFFECT

I was wasting my time listening to PBS radio yesterday and an interesting report was actually aired.  I’ve pretty much set my bar for professionalism at PBS as low as it goes, all the gushing tree hugging PC lesbians so busy presenting their bloody anal orifices for Obammy to violate at will ( hey, if their descended from heaven Black Lenin wants to get it on with them all kinky, they’ll forget for a day they prefer carpet licking ).  I had also started lowering the bar on Interesting, but at least this temporarily halted the slide.  The Ikea Effect is named after a study that found that folks who bought Ikea furniture and assembled it themselves, however poorly, highly prized the thing AND assigned a much higher value on it than was warranted.  PBS then cued up a professor, who I swear had a heavy German accent straight out of Dr. Strangelove, who started going on about how this had Oh So Much More Insidious Effects Than We Could Possibly Understand, We Unwashed Proletariat.  He gave the example of a business leader who is so enamored with his own ideas ( one assumes the Dropped On One’s Head As A Child business grad actually just read it from an Idiots Guide book, but however he got the idea ) that he refuses to listen to any new ones, even if they are far better.  Well, this is far from World Altering Insidious Effects, but the professor was just proving the Ikea Effect by himself being a bit too in love with his own ideas.

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I understand that almost everyone pumps up their own importance.  With seven billion of us bobbing up and down in a swamp of our own idiocy, there isn’t enough flotation devices and we are all always jockeying for better position.  We must not only act, but truly believe, we are the best damn thing since sliced Wonder Bread ( was Wonder Bread ever NOT sliced?  ) for not only is that where the money is, but more importantly that is where the mates are.  Which is why you never want to underestimate the viciousness of folks you don’t have money or mates.  They will do anything to have yours ( money isn’t that important, but the food it buys and the mates it attracts surely is ).  Anyway, there is an almost universal tendency in the “professions” to try to constantly pump up their own importance.  Perhaps they know they ain’t as smart as they think, having a better memory than intelligence so they simply copy and regurgitate, or perhaps it is just that since they live above reality they have no clue about how embarrassing they are by elevating a few ancient folk sayings which contained all the insights into human nature needed, and needlessly overcomplicating them dressing them up like lipstick on a pig.  Let me translate the Ikea Effect so you can actually understand it.  Pay no attention to the professor.

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The customers than shop Ikea are Yuppie Scum.  As such, they are usually part of the professionals.  Upper management, or a trade that requires extra schooling just to raise the bar of entry ( really?  Who actually believes that your hair dresser needs a year of schooling? ).  They got their toehold above the masses of burger flippers and trash men and  they are quite pleased with themselves.  This makes them insufferable buttholes.  Mostly because every indicator tells us not only are they stupid, too stupid to pour piss out of a boot when the instructions are on the heel, but they have no idea at all they are stupid.  So, being a highly smug professional, they think they are seeping themselves all day in Rarified Ideas and have absolutely no time for anything hands on, mechanical, anything so vulgar as getting their skin soiled.  Yet, to put a piece of Ikea furniture together is a pretty safe adventure.  They can use a screwdriver ( but nothing so dangerous or dirty as a saw ) and then spend the next years crowing about how wonderful they are to have Built Something Beautiful.  The Ikea Effect has nothing to do with Self Accomplishment and everything to do with Self Delusion.  Which is just about what you would expect a corporation to base a business model on.  We can sell the Yuppie Scum ( actually, one imagines the directors of Ikea are all Yuppie Scum, so the phrase should be “we call sell our people” ) a dream that they are rugged outdoorsmen of yesteryear, felling trees and cutting planks and with great skill and craftsmanship putting a piece of furniture into our wonderful home that generations will be proud of.  How indicative of our sad and pathetic little culture.

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Only 80% of my regular length today.  I still have a wicked fever, still feel like a double flush turd.  So I’m throwing this together in the morning and I’m going home early.

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9 comments:

  1. Awesome post today, Lord Bison. The Ikea Effect. I love it!

    Just as a screwdriver and a ready-to-assemble boxed up table gives a pathetic false pride to the Yuppies, so too does the automobile do the same thing to modern American women.

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    1. And the smaller the gal the higher the truck on monster wheels. Or, here locally, a lot of bumber stickers "silly boy, trucks are for girls". I wonder who would win if we whiped it out- her old saggy boobs or my Johnson all pulled out.

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  2. Feel better Mr. Dakin - yuppies (and most of us) are going to have to learn A LOT pretty soon, with a steep grading curve, from bottom to top - dead, misery, and uncomfortable and just skirting by.

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  3. So would you classify the AR plastic carbine as the "Ikea gun" for the yuppie survivalist? Same thought process possiblly? Can you correlate the two? Ikea is for people who grew up in sports leagues where everyone was bestowed a trophy, no matter what lack of athletic (non) ability

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    1. I like the anolog on the trophys. I don't think the AR worship is anything more than having a hard on for all things military. Or, having served, merely a "Blankee" level of comfort.

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. BTW - no need to post my previous comment. I'm just frustrated as hell!

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  6. Your "Ikea Effect" as "Self Delusion" is exactly what modern advertising, at its extreme, is based on. The purchase price for a product gives the buyer permission to project himself or herself into a predefined fantasy role. This goes way beyond conning a few yuppies into buying furniture at Ikea. This is the formula for selling everything from clothes to cosmetics; from rifles and shotguns to cars, trucks, and motorcycles. I find it difficult to watch some tv commercials these days because it's hard for me to grasp the fantasy being proffered sufficiently to want to project myself into the role. A tv ad, therefore, has a target audience, usually a young adult with a poorly defined sense of self, who actually believes he needs to purchase the product to tell the world who he is; or, to go back to our original term, it is part of the process of self delusion.

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    1. Put much better than I. Are you sure you don't want to write the next article?

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