Friday, January 11, 2013

AGP unpublished chapter

I had nothing today, so here is a reprint from Apocalypse Gun Porn.  It was a chapter I never posted here at this blog, so it is new to you.
APOCALYPSE GUN PORN
By James M Dakin
Copyright 2012

Introduction-Why We Love Our Guns

This might seem like a strange place to start a book on the best weapons post-apocalypse, but I think it is something we want to get out of the way.  You will of course get many different answers as to why Americans are perversely attracted to guns, but as you shall see they are of course all not only wrong, misguided, illogical and based on propaganda, their proponents are also plainly just idiots.  No, I have very little respect for the human race and it is easy enough to see why.  Here we are blessed ( either by divine plan or by the wonders of evolution, take your biased pick ) with one of the best tools ever, that big blob of grey goo our brains, and the vast majority of slobs out there piss away the opportunity to use it.  They say that 80% of the brain is underutilized ( or at least they used to, back in the day when I was incarcerated in the public school system.  Perhaps they’ve changed their minds yet again ) or unused, but I think that is simply because thinking for yourself is, at first at least, hard work and most people hate hard work.  It is far better to just go along with the mob, join the consensus, agree with the herd.  The reason the term “sheeple” resonates so well with the doomer, militia, Constitutionalist crowd is because it is such an apt description of the average group of idiots we call countrymen ( of course, to be fair, even the former group suffers from its herd mentality and its biased “knowledge” ).  Very few people want to think.  In the end, or at least the end of civilization, that is going to get them killed.
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Black, and I call them Black not out of disrespect but because if I’m not allowed to title myself a European-American I’ll be damned if I’m going to call Blacks African-Americans, will tell you that them Whitey Cracker Honkey Mo-Fo’s all likes their guns because secretly they fear the Black Man and need to arm themselves against him.  To a degree this is true, but not for that specific reason.  Whitey in the suburbs pretty much fears everybody not just like him and it doesn’t matter what skin color they have ( mainly, they fear losing their wealth and positions ).  It actually speaks against Blacks to hold this attitude, being a bit self serving and egotistical, so it might be fair to speculate that Blacks never held this belief but rich pasty White guys in the University system, weakly thrusting their arthritic hips into the flag of Political Correctness trying to arouse themselves, pulled it whole cloth out of their asses.  Either way, to be fair suburban gun worship out of fear  is a fear of White crack heads as much as Hispanic undocumented workers ( another rich euphemism from the Liberal Humps which means illegals.  If I can’t go down to Mexico and get welfare and work without documents, why is it okay for Mexican’s to do so? ) turned burglars as well as the fear of Hoards Of Crazed Blacks Trying To Lynch Whitey And Violate His Women.  Actually, Blacks make up barely over 10% of the population, despite generations of subsidized Welfare-For-Babies.  If you are the average White dude, you simply practice White Flight and go live somewhere else if you fear Other Colors.  You don’t, unless you are a complete moron, huddle in fear in the midst of the ghetto and arm yourself out of that fear. 
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FemiNazis, that vile putrid race of Amazons that indoctrinate themselves in a perverse culture of fear of anything resembling a penis ( one has to wonder how they survived prior to modern plastics and synthesized rubber.  How did they multiply without turkey basters? ) will tell you that a gun is merely a phallic symbol.  Okay, but why do we need one?  I have a full size biological model ( the wife might disagree with my description of Full size, but that is just her trying to hide her lust and desire from me in a vain attempt to minimize her need for basking in my greatness ) with me at all times.   Why do I need a symbol of it?  To remind any female of my possession of said organ?  My five o’clock shadow and  other indicators of my gender doesn’t give it away?  I’m confused, but then, this is a normal reaction to Women’s Righters.  As far as I’m concerned, bitches have always been in charge.  They have what we want, and in the end, given proper subterfuge to appease our egos,  we always give in to them.  FemiNazi’s are just pissed they, one, have to actually look feminine, and two, can’t sit on the throne but must stay hidden behind it.  Oh, boo-friggin-hoo.  Shut up, you homely whiney bitches.
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A bit more on target but still confused are those that claim firearms ( I use guns, weapons and firearms interchangeably.  I was in the army but never subscribed to their “this is my weapon, this is my gun” distinction.  As you will learn shortly to your ever lasting regret,  I disagree with most everyone and most institutions ) are symbols and tools of freedom.  True, a rifle says “I’m not a serf, try yoking me, bitches” unlike most other symbols.  In Switzerland, a rifle, even if it is State owned and controlled, does indeed allow the individuals to form a vanguard against government slavery.  The Swiss spent nearly two centuries fighting for their independence and as a result form the modern equivalent to the Celtic warrior culture.  They might surrender a portion of their independence to a warrior chieftain, their leader, but it is a voluntary pact wherein the greater freedom is achieved against outside control.  Americans, on the other hand, might blow out their collective chest and bellow of their complete freedom, symbolized by their firearm collection, yet have shown in practice to be weak and subjugated.  I’m far from a Stateist, Communist, Liberal-whatever.  I’m a proud anarchist ( someone who desires complete freedom from government, not the popularized but erroneous description of one who uses force to disrupt society ).  And while the Constitution has been violated since 1861, and I see it as a very imperfect document for individual freedom, I still was quite proud of it as such and am very disheartened to see it dead.  Sorry, folks, when it becomes uncontested law that an individual can be arrested without cause, tortured, then held indefinitely without trial, we are no longer living under a government that upholds the Constitution.  And you and I, all of use, have allowed this to happen and we did absolutely nothing about it, regardless of how many guns we own.  As Americans, we can no longer pretend that a gun is a symbol of our freedom.
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In my view, a firearm is a symbol of a past life we all wish we could return to.  Mankind evolved as a Hunter-Gatherer.  For hundreds of thousands of years, if not longer, our brain, our bodies, our cultures, were formed by his way of life.  Men were protectors and providers ( upper body strength quite superior to females- even top trained athletes can’t force their female bodies to conform to the capacity of a male ), and females were nurturers and a civilizing factor of males.  They each did their roles quite well ( and yes, they each evolved into it.  Evolution doesn’t automatically disqualify a divine creation, so don’t get your secret Mormon undergarments into a twist ).  Then came the unfortunate end game of a long positive population growth.  At first, too many mouths in the tribe led to a small group sticking out on their own to new virgin territory ( okay, there is more to it than that.  Some groups, unable to expand by geological constraints, adopted other survival mechanisms to counter population increases in relation to their resource base.  But in general what I’m describing was how the globe filled up.  You can envision the added complications of fighting to take over already established territory, etc. ).  Rinse and repeat over untold generations until that exponential growth met up with something else to form The Perfect Storm.  Let’s speculate and call it over-hunting of large herbivores.  Or global weather change.  Whatever.  It could have ever been nothing more than a few prime agricultural areas such as the Nile using agriculture as a military weapon to decimate the stone age weapons of Hunter-Gatherers with metal ( you need a food surplus to get specialists to mine and refine ore ). The point is that man had to adopt the agricultural way of life.  In some ways it was a miracle, but be that as it may, it was an alien form of life compared to Hunter-Gathering.  Our bodies evolved on a diet of lean meat supplemented with forest nuts and vegetables/fruits.  Not a bowl of grain gruel.  Our culture evolved  to a form of leadership of consensus by a small armed tribe, not of kings and unarmed peasants.   Nothing about the Agricultural Age is normal to the way we evolved.
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Firearms are a way to marginally retain some of that old, mostly suppressed culture.  We can envision a day where we can once again be the Protector and Provider ( don’t ask me to get into the “female gun lover” conundrum as it pertains to this theory.  I can barely understand females without that complicating factor ).  Not only does this partially explain our love of guns, it can explain our love for Doom And Gloom, survivalism and the slight positive expectation towards the arrival of the Apocalypse.  Hey, it might not be 100% plausible, but it certainly is feasible and probably blows your weak and pathetic theories out of the water.
END
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