Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Apocalypse RV- part 2

APOCALYPSE RV- PART 2
The history of idiots declaring the imminent collapse of civilization is lengthy and its members infamous.  How many in the 70’s declared that the Uranus Emperor was  going to vaporize the entire Earth globe and the only hope for rescue was to drop acid, then kill yourself in an apparent act of piety that would prove yourself to the pilots of the Mother Ship, assuring you had a place in the berth for one of a select few immigrants?  Well, you probably never heard of that one, most likely because there were no survivors.  Not that it didn’t happen.  Jesus Freaks have been herding the faithful to the tops of mountains ( the elevated difference an extremely important distinction since if you were too low the powers of your divine deity of choice were insufficient to elevate you up into the Promised Land.  Or, perhaps it was that these dudes were hip to the important fact only known to themselves and their disciples that God was just a disguise for said Uranus Emperor and while deities might be able to actually suck your fat ass up from the lowest elevation, say several hundred feet below sea level in some forsaken craphole of a barren desert ( and, shall we even ask why the desert was were all the important religions got started?  Was it because God liked the heat?  Were minor gods such as Odin ill favored because they thought the epitome of a good time was getting frost bite on your junk?  I’d think that any god worthy of worship was more into the whole garden scene.  Trees, flowers, buzzing bees and unicorns at the ends of rainbows ), it is a well known fact that the pull from an extra terrestrial intergalactic vessel was limited and it was essential that those wishing for rescue better get to the top of the highest hill around or they were completely shit otta luck.  Hell, even the military ships were only capable of about fifty percent more power, not enough for below sea level rescue.  Just ask any anal probe abductee survivor- they’ll tell you.  And why would you want to go to another planet to survive?  I’d wager that would be worse than immigrating to Paris in case the Krauts ever invaded England.  Hell, I wouldn’t even visit Mexico way back before the failed narco state of today, and that was for no better reason than I was afraid my pale ass would end up in prison if I didn’t have enough of a bribe to please the traffic cop when I was busted for jaywalking.  Of course, that was twenty years before the Bush/Obammy police state was established and the TSA would pull you off a Greyhound and throw you in Gitmo if your tan looked a bit too permanent.  Mexico begins to look a bit peaceful, law enforcement wise.
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The whole cult thing got so serious that the CIA got involved.  We can’t have all those hippy punks chucking their taxpaying jobs to go off grid and eating granola as they were waiting for the Apocalypse.  Yes, I understand most folks reluctance to envision a world were the prison escapees are hunted down and forced back into the barracks and given extended sentences for the attempt at freedom.  Well, Paul Newman, what we have here is a failure to communicate.  Do you really think that all those rock stars all happened to overdose or die in plane crashes?  Really?  Just during that one period?  Not since?  I’d wager a donut that our intelligence services had a hand in most of them.  Sure, celebrities are killing themselves off left and right, but sometimes a coincidence is just too much to believe with those kinds of numbers.  Read “Acid Dreams” for a thrilling tale of CIA involvement in the LSD trade.  It wasn’t beyond belief at the time to think the government wanted to mold the countries culture and its future.  They don’t try much anymore, but that might just be because their war was won.  Poor guys, with the end of communism and the civilians all docile and subjugated, what was left for them to do?  Watch the Taliban?  The folks the CIA created in Afghanistan to fight the Russians.  Afghans were never much interested in politics outside their immediate vicinity.  And Bin Laden may or may not have cared overly much about the Great Satan if she wasn’t parked on holy ground.  But mastermind a box cutter strike?  Sure.  Those box cutters also took down a skyscraper blocks and blocks away from the Twin Towers, and punched a hole in the wall of the Pentagon only incidentally the same size as a missile ( a bit smaller than the purported jet engine size ).  Towel Heads didn’t have much experience in attacking domestic targets and molding public opinion ( I don’t believe they could even fathom how we think, since we affront God by not beating our women like they richly deserve ), but the CIA and its sister organizations sure do.  Assassinating presidents, civil rights leaders and attorney generals, eliminating the means for mind expansion, trying to subdue the rebellious music, and don’t even get me started on manufacturing disease and plagues. 
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Okay, perhaps just a little.  Here we have AIDS, a disease that very swiftly starts decimating the gay community.  The disease almost simultaneously starts in San Francisco, New York and the Caribbean as well as Africa.  Here is the course of events we are supposed to believe without thinking too much about it.  Some Bushman in the Dark Continent either humps a monkey or is bitten by one, somehow infects a traveler, the disease then spreads faster than an airborne plague outbreak.   Nothing else to see here, please move along.  My money is on the defense or intelligence community funding the disease and deliberately spreading it.  One, most of us absolutely despise gays ( one presumes that Naval Intelligence wasn’t involved ).  And two, intravenous drug users were just down the enemies list from homos.  So, really, who was going to object to those folks being targeted?  Once the disease proved itself, partial cures were then made available to those rich enough to transfer their wealth to the healthcare industry and the focus turned to Africa.  Although AIDS has failed to perform as well as Bubonic Plague in wiping out the useless eaters on that resource rich continent, it did as good a job as can be expected of a manufactured disease that was made at the very start of the genetically modified organism era.  Of course, that one did backfire in that China took advantage of the civilization implosion there to buy up most of the resources, but the primary goal in the US was achieved- to whit, the hippy era of free love and free thinking instantly died, and the drug culture never recovered its legitimacy.   The last obstacle for unlimited government was removed as we raced to embrace a conservative political stance ( the socialist BS is just a disguise, a strawman.  All points on the political spectrum embrace centralized control ).  My own experience might illustrate slightly.  I was born and raised in California ( but in my defense, I never bought and sold land so I wasn’t involved in immigrating to another state and helping to jack up the cost of living artificially ) and for a short period after my military service I still lived there, until I had the good sense to move elsewhere and never go back.  If you smoked weed, and it was under a certain amount, the fine was $50.  In practice if not legalized it was the next closest thing.  I had previously dropped a lot of acid, but in California I smoked a lot of herb.  Once I moved out of the state, I quit completely.  All other states had much harsher penalties.  And as a result, I became an uptight little asshole who started working two jobs and towed the line of an obedient serf.  I’m convinced quitting drugs did that to me. 
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Sure, thinking everything is a conspiracy can be dangerous to your mental health.  It can also blind you to scientifically evaluating the true course of the future.  But so much does indeed look like one when you ask, simply, “who benefits?”.  Who benefits when college tuition and medical costs go through the roof?  The central bank.  They tell their tamed and trained Congresscritters to start out with The GI Bill, they finance nearly free campus construction to the states, shake, stir and wait a few generations and soon the same amount ( or fewer ) of professors teaching the same classes on that now paid for campus is even after adjusted for inflation ten or twenty times the old cost.  Even with low interest rates, the banks make an insane killing on the student loans.  Medical is even easier.  Get the federals to pay for old bitches ( it’s for the geriatrics! ) and soon the industry has galloping inflation as everyone chases after the government payday.  Who benefits when the zoning ordinances prohibit self built homes?  The banks.  Who benefits when a cult leader, oh, just off the top of my head let’s say Jim Jones, is apparently instructing all his zombies to drink the Grape Kool-Aid so that they can go rap with Brother Jesus one on one like?  I’d like to tie it in to the banks, as they are my number one enemy ( not because they’ve screwed me other than indirectly through inflation, the government has done far worse to me, but because they are the cocksuckers in control of enslaving us all and that just pisses me off to no end ) but I really can’t- sorry.  But if you’ll notice, the end of cults pretty much followed the Jonestown mass suicide.  Which would be about the only reason I’d stop, sniff about a bit, cry, “Havoc!”, and suspect foul play was afoot. 
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What is a cult other than an attempt to create another religion or an alternate society?  Okay, sure, they are pretty much a bunch of fucking fruit loops, but that isn’t the point.  They are attempting to “turn on, tune out and drop out” ( I’m sure I butchered the Hippie saying, I’m a child of the 70’s, not the Flower Child generation, and my memory here is pretty much mirroring my interest which is to say marginal at best ).  And as already demonstrated, if you had been paying attention, altering your mind was the purview of the Central Intelligence Agency and not up to individual discretion ( if you think the war on the Constitution is something new, I wonder how many drugs YOU took in the 60’s.  You’re not the first generation to have discovered sex, or think in polar opposites of your parents ).  Cults were an even greater threat than drugs, since the whole Constitution and Bill Of Rights, back when it was observed enough to not alarm the masses, unlike today when the Prez says, hey there little dudes, if you piss me off I get to arrest you and disappear you and nobody gives a flying fuck because almost every job anymore is tied to the government teet, back then there was a thing called freedom of religion.  And the only reason the masses glommed on to that was because they figured if you pissed off Nixon the worse that could happen would be a baton up your head and a weekend in jail before bail, but if you pissed off the Big Kahuna you would be dunked head down in a lake of bubbling crap for all eternity in Hell.  You do the math.  So, the feds can’t just have The War On Religion like they have the War On Drugs ( and if you are ever naïve enough to wonder why Texas had a life sentence in jail for one marijuana joint, it was the ol “we can’t bust Capone on murder, no evidence, so we get him for tax evasion” schtick.  Radicals railing against the regime then had the “disappearing” act of that era pulled on them ).  How to end those pesky cults?  Stage a mass suicide.  Because no matter how crazy an American religious fanatic was, almost without exception ( perhaps Brown before the War Of Northern Aggression ) they aren’t crazy enough to want to meet their maker NOW.  Perhaps the leaders don’t care.  They’ve just had three hundred years of sex crammed into a few months and they are both too tired to care and too sated to think it matters anymore.  But the rank and file of the cult certainly don’t want to die just yet.  Or, as was the plan, the POTENTIAL cult members aren’t ready for that.  You could argue that the apocalyptic feel of the times gave way to a sense of normalcy as the Depression of the 70’s gave way to the funny money fueled 80’s recovery ( I love Reagan, the last great president, but he had flaws and unrestrained deficits were one ).  But I would disagree, stipulating that the cults ended years before the recovery began.   And right on its heels came the AIDS epidemic and the ramping up of the War On Drugs.  Hell, in the Seventies, the government might have used illegal drugs to create political prisoners, but the vast majority of citizens had no problem with drugs.  There was no backing of Prohibition by the masses.  Now, after just a few decades, a few hundred bucks reward and your best buddy next door will drop a dime on your ass.  Your kid will narc on you in school ( just as good little Party loving Nazi spawn gladly informed of their parents impure thoughts regarding the official line ).  Drug busts have become an economic empire all its own, and the drug trade is used as a weapon against ghetto unrest ( it brings in enough money to quiet the mobs ). 
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So now you perhaps understand why Johnstown was targeted.  Operatives assassinated the politician that came down to investigate ( or our operatives paid local talent to do so ), which either got Jones in a mood to die his way and not at the hands of the Fascists, or the inhabitants were then killed by the same instigators.  You wonder why the Oklahoma City fed center was bombed?  Do you think there are any serious militias around anymore to organize against the anti-Constitutionalists?  Look how easy the masses accepted complete federal control after the first economic hiccup.  Because they had already been calmed down with the treat that any armed resistance was futile.  Just smile, take your government check, move along.  You want to enter another universe with drugs?  We’ll throw you in jail where you die.  Want to join a cult that chances your life for the better?  We’ll see that you all “suicide”.  Want to organize to defeat a government that did all that?  We’ll make you public enemy number one, shoot your wife as she is holding your baby, or just burn your kids ( I’d wager that the Waco folks that got burned out were also a threat to cults reemerging ).  Resistance is futile!
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So what does that leave?  You quietly prepare for the end, by government action or in cahoots with corporate and banker interests as they fuck everything up.  But don’t make a fuss doing it.   Keep your tongue idle, and keep your wallet open as you consume your way towards apocalypse nirvana.  You can’t escape reality through altering your mind, either through religion or drugs, but you are allowed to escape through shopping.  If you follow these few rules, you will most likely although no guarantee be left alone and unmolested ( as long as you are not on a piece of property that the mayors butthole buddies on the XYZ Corporation want to eminent domain for ten cents on the dollar ).  Of course, this is less than ideal, as you aren’t allowed to actually escape but must continue to run faster and faster on the wage wheel.  Better than nothing, sure.  But far from ideal.  It would indeed be better if you could join together and go down to an isolated town you build in the jungle in South America, accessible only by water craft, but as has already been demonstrated, you cannot escape.  In fact, listening to the puke politicians today, and you hear them proposing a law that taxes those fleeing the country ( this was actually talked about, I crap you not ), just as the German government both before and during the Nazi’s levied an exit tax on the Jews of 30%, you could almost talk yourself into leaving this hole.  Not that I’d ever do it.  Better the devil you know ( does not apply to wives or bosses ).  Better or more ideal or less suckass, those are not available to you.  The whole teetering gum and glue popsicle tower saturated in napalm was about to fall over, burst into flames and explode flaming debris into the crowd.  No time to start over elsewhere.  I’d been watching the news of the financial derivatives game for over five years now, since Lehman Brothers was allowed to implode.  Not that you were fed the real news, you had to read between the lines.  Which of course makes the whole decision making process fraught with danger.  But the alternative, waking up one morning as mobs with pitchforks and torches are trashing the place because while you were glued to the cable TV which was reporting lies and running ads for American Duet Dancing With The Talented Stars and didn’t get out in time, was no better than deciding for yourself when to jump out of the perfectly good airplane.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

book review and fiction- Apocalypse RV

BOOK REVIEW-THE PROFESSION
“The Profession” by Steven Pressfield is a near future tale of mercenary armies.  Lately, what with steroid bulked brain dead idiots spraying fully automatic fire into crowds of Muslim civilians, the name mercenary has gotten a bad name.  So, as if on a mission from God, Mr. Pressfield has set out to sing their glories from the rooftops and can I get an amen, brother?  Not since the late 1970’s when a vet named Brown started a small circulation magazine named Soldier Of Fortune have mercenaries been so revered and used to turn a profit from their authors.  Now, I was one of those little idiots in the seventies, far too busy popping pimples and bemoaning my fate as an inmate in the public school system to pay attention to disco or what I only later learned was the last era of wild and crazy guys, so I immersed myself into saner inner worlds of fantasy to include Dungeons And Dragons and the exciting overseas conflicts populated by mercenary warriors.  I loved mercs, and bought what I thought was their official magazine for many a year.  Nowadays, I’m not exactly a great fan boy.  I could care less how many towel head’s get killed as collateral damage, but I don’t much care for scumbags that help the fedgov disarm those who in theory live in a country that was founded with a document that laid out the rules as had been naturally endowed to its inhabitants, rules which prohibited the government from ever abridging those rights.  But these pricks are taking their thirty pieces of silver to do just that, all the while vigorously rubbing the flag against their junk in a pathetic dance of fake patriotism.
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However, even with my distaste for the modern mercs, one has to honestly portray this book as more of a tale about warriors and their code rather than just a love fest for mercenaries.  After reading this novel, I have to say it seemed a fair treatment of the code of the warrior, so I’ll allow my displeasure to subside.  At one time I had considered myself for the profession, albeit quickly withdrawn due to total unsuitability.  I was also able to withstand over a hundred pages of densely packed acronyms.  The first half of the book is data dumped with both geopolitical back story and a God awful amount of acronyms.  You might think I love those little bastards, using them so much myself ( GRIFFIN, glacial retreat flash flooding or PODA, peak oil dark ages ), but the truth is that I despise them and am poking fun at the insanity.  The military is so bloated with useless add on information that you must process back into standard English, from having to calculate 24 time back to 12, to having to figure out how many miles are in a klick, to translating acronyms, it is a wonder any action takes place as we are all standing there with a blank look in our eyes as our overloaded brain tries to process.  It would be one thing if the initials made sense.  NATO is the actual name of an organization and needn’t be translated if there is no desire.  But the other crap, like MDFRGOR ( I just made it up- I think ) for Multi-Directional Forward Rear Ground Operating Radar is not intuitive and requires too much processing power to stay functional.  How about “penetrating radar”? 
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What I took away from this book was, it is basically sci-fi novel roughly paralleling the non-fiction geopolitical book “A Century Of War”.  Of course, that’s just me.  I doubt the author ever read “Century”.  But beyond the Warrior Elite Tale, I loved the politics and economics and such.  Oh, I could tear apart this book if I wished.  Such as, are you humping kidding me with the reanimation of all oil fields by a wishful thinking nitrogen injection process that allows the whole ball of wax to stay tightly bundled twenty years from now!!!????  And, please, as if we don’t have to worry about a dictator taking over the country and crapping on the Constitution for twenty years???!!!!  That boat sailed generations ago.  But, hey, if you just read it for pleasure, understanding it is a sausage fest for warriors which unfortunately embraces asshat mercs, you will enjoy the story.  Don’t buy the book for a fiction account on Peak Oil or the realignment of political power or any future prophesy, but for a well written tale of a fighter in the mostly modern world.  That’s all it is, and it was done rather well.  If you try to take too much away from all the back story you will just disappoint yourself.  Yes, at times it was uneven.  I had to read small chunks at a time for the first half, the information overload too intense.  And the second half was more conventional.  But all in all, a recommended, well written novel.
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END REVIEW.  SCROLL DOWN FOR MORE.
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Yet another feeble attempt at fiction.  Part One of hopefully a lot more.

APOCALYPSE RV
I was going to have to steal an RV.  It was a risky move, because nothing had yet happened as far as the economy taking a big squishy shit and dooming us all to a quick death of civilization collapse.  But of course if you waited long enough to be sure then there wouldn’t be too many riches left to loot, steal or purchase.  And if you acted hastily you might end up in jail which is no place to spend the collapse.  I mean, no one wants to go to jail.  Or maybe it’s prison.  I suppose there is a difference, one being a holding cell run by the county or city and the other a “long term facility” run by a higher level of government.  Something like that.  The short term one isn’t as much of a horror story, or so I’ve heard.  I have my doubts.  Anymore, the private goons hired by the government so they can save on medical and retirement think nothing of shoving their fist up your ass to elbow deep searching for contraband, and you are only in there for a traffic stop.  It would actually be too expensive to hire another clerk to segregate the prisoners according to crime severity or hostility level so everyone gets treated like Charles Manson upon entering.  And, if they are too lazy to spend the money to keep up the façade of civil rights observation than surely they won’t go through the trouble of making sure your red light running ass doesn’t get bunked up with a glue sniffing monkey molesting mass murderer who the very first night pries apart your virgin anal orifice and humps you dry, his groans of pleasure drowning out your whimpers.  Then, five years later you discover you have AIDS and nobody believes you were in prison, or jail as the case may be, because you never got busted for anything more severe than a traffic stop, so obviously you must be an intravenous drug user or a flaming queen.  So, on one pretext or another you get fired, and if not fired only because your boss is himself a bit limp wrested and you can choose to either perform oral gratification upon his person or get terminated, and you lose the wife and kids and can choose to pay child support even if you don’t have a job or go back to jail and so the gruesome circle of Hell keeps feeding on itself because if you don’t pay up you get sent back to jail you might at least have the satisfaction of infecting the butt humper of a cell mate but you still must go through the whole violation part of it again which is absolutely nobodies idea of fun.  And, it might not just be that but the inmate might also shiv you when he is done because his manhood is so undersized that with your previous humping and the advance of years your sphincter has loosened and you aren’t tight enough to deliver any satisfaction to your date for the night.
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So, while prison is bad enough as it is in times of plenty, come the collapse you will be locked up behind bars, with a hurt and throbbing asshole, and soon enough if you don’t die in a racially inspired riot you will die as the water is shut down and food isn’t delivered.  So, post-apocalypse wise, prison is absolutely out of the question.  It simply isn’t an option.  And, really?  An RV?  Who in name of God needs a gas guzzling recreational vehicle when the gas runs out and there is no more propane to run the appliances, you innocently ask.  Well, let me tell you, this beautiful head of hair is much more than a hat rack.  I actually use it once in a blue moon to think, ponder and pontificate.  Have you ever tried to get a group of people together to prepare for the end of the world?  Frankly, the task of herding cats is simple in comparison.  Even if you could find a few folks living near you, no one is worried about the same kind of probable problems and nobody is willing to join together unless they themselves are in charge.  The closest I’ve heard of, and that is a bit of a cheat but at least it lasted long term which almost no group ever does because of the two aforementioned factors, was Rawles ( author of “Patriots” and media darling blogger ) and his college or military buddies.  And they are all scattered about the country so long distant bug outs complicate an otherwise perfect plan ( I’d also wager it worked because one person, the property owner, was by default in charge ).  The typical survivalist you’ll never meet is pig headed independent.  Which makes sense, because otherwise how could they go against societies convictions; buck the tides so to speak, and endeavor to prepare for the end.  Loners do not make for good group members.  If you belonged to the mass of lemmings, only acting in an approved manner by squeezing into suburbia with debt equaling 90% of your wages as a cubicle warrior, you wouldn’t be allowed to stray far enough away to seek a modicum of self sufficiency or independence.  By the nature of its members, groups of survivalists are impossible.
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So I had chosen the much easier route, even if it was far less desirable.  I had provisioned enough supplies for a circle of friends to survive.  Not that I had told them about it.  You tell one person, the balloon goes up and twenty complete strangers show up two minutes later.  You forbid most to enter, the original member feels compelled to defend them, you put your foot down by shooting one to make a point, pretty soon everyone is shouting and yelling and picking sides and it is the OK Corral all over again and you might get hurt.   But time had run out and I was far from ready to provide shelter for everyone.  I wasn’t rich, nor very talented, so I was on a strict regimen of frugal survival preparations.  I had basic foodstuffs and weapons, but I hadn’t yet been able to swing the purchase of a large shelter.  I only had a small eight by eight cabin on my property, and you can’t throw six to eight people in a place that small over many days of freezing cold weather.  An RV was far from ideal, but still a major improvement.  And it was self mobile, a consideration since I was miles from paved road and didn’t have the money for a major purchase at Home Depot.  Hell, an RV being a less than ideal abode was far from the most pressing problem.  As I said, we weren’t in full blown meltdown yet.  Most survivalists are by nature frightened little rodents, nervously poking their heads above their underground entrances, sniffing the air for any sign of large hungry reptiles.  They buy a few cans of freeze dried soybean offal and buy a cool looking plastic carbine and by not paying too much attention to the details they are then convinced that they can survive an asteroid impact followed by a nuclear war followed by stampedes of city folk bugging out.  If they actually thought things through a bit they would stay afraid, and that won’t do.  That curious American trait of pasting on a happy face and pretending all is well.  Okay, that might be a common trait throughout history, all successful empires are full of folks fat, happy and unable to comprehend the coming meltdown as once again yet another agricultural empire overpopulated and used up their resources. 
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I mean, look at these assholes.  Every best selling survival author, and it is far more than just finances anymore like it was in the seventies with Howard Ruff and the like- now you have cool stuff like global warning and solar flares and super volcanoes and what not to worry about- every swinging dingus out there follows the same tired bull of first presenting the problem and them telling us how to change our behavior to make sure we all experience a safe if bumpy landing.  And the behavior we are asked to change is fundamental human behavior.  You can’t change that kind of behavior because it has been evolutionarily hard wired into us.  Oh, a few groups here and there might succeed in mimicking the called for changes and actually get away with it because they were accidentally bypassed by the surrounding bandits, but the majority of people will follow the basic script.  Overpopulation and resource depletion was what brought them to power in the first place and the those same two actions which are causing the collapse are the hair of the dog that is going to save you from yourselves.  Dirty Hippy Harry, author of “Hug A Tree And Save The World”, thinks that if we can only just hug each other around an old Wiccan burial site, our glorious manes of hair fluttering in the breeze as we sway to the music of Gaia standing about in our Birkenstocks after driving there in our Prius electric cars, and solemnly pinkie promise each other that surely we can all just get along, and if we change our light bulbs to fluorescents run by solar panels we can all indeed live happily ever after in an orgasmically groovy paradise of earth.  Newsflash, Harry, our country was founded by uptight religious pricks that met every Sunday, took turns shoving broomsticks up each others asses to ensure the proper level of piety, found the proper passage in the Bible that preached indigenous population genocide, and stole this country jam friggin packed with enough resources to last a hundred lifetimes.  God indeed was good and generous, but only if you wore a shoe buckle on a funny looking hat. 
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Seriously, who was the designer these guys paid?  A buckle on your hat?  Was this because you might need a back up one day?  You just got done punishing a wicked transgressor against the supreme will of Baby Jesus, the evil bastard deciding that it was okay to clip his toenails on a Sunday, and all the physical exertion forcing him into the stocks so the faithful could pelt Lucifer’s Minion with rotted fruit and farm animal offal, why, you done popped the buckle off your shoe.  Fearfully, you quickly take the back-up off your hat so you could re-attach your footwear.  One can never be too careful keeping ones thoughts pure so it is best to never show any foot flesh, least ones peers experience lustful fancies.  A buckle on your hat just doesn’t make any sense to me.  Of course, what sense is there in today’s fashions?  A vest, perhaps.  I think the only function that it had at one time was to hold ones pocket watch ( “I say, Frederick, it’s almost been twelve hours.  We simply must water the peasants on the factory line or the simpletons might pass out and damage some piece of equipment” ), but let’s make a stretch of things and assume one could use it today as, say, another layer of clothing to stay warmer in the winter.  If you are a highly paid big muckeemuck in an investment firm, it simply won’t do to allow the cubicle hired help to see you in an unsightly ensemble of a bulky down jacket over your Brooks Brothers suit.  You must appear above the human mass, a deity all your own, unburdened by such trivialities as the cold.  The vest allows you to maintain this illusion.  Your torso has the added clothing, you stay warmer.  The peons, seeing you manly brave the elements, actually start to assume that paper currency is actually wealth and that growth can last forever.  The vest is an awesome swath of fabric.  Now, the tie.  The tie, she is a bit of a mystery.  All it does is restrict the blood flow to the brain.   No, I don’t have scientific proof, but look at the results.  You wear a tie.  Essentially this marks you as a Charles In Charge.  You are a step above your peers.  And ninety nine times out of a hundred, you are a complete moron.  You blindly follow the rules some asshole wrote down a hundred years ago.  Here he was, a stopwatch in one hand and a clipboard in the other, timing the task each assembly line worker performed.  You really think that was an accurate reading?  Do you think that pace was sustainable for a twelve hour shift?  Remember the movie Schindler’s List?  Myself, I thought the whole thing was a Heeb piece of propaganda.  Not that I have anything against Jews or the state of Israel.  I actually admire their willingness to fuck anybody up that so much as hints at being a threat.  It only took them a few thousand years to grow a set of testicles ( a few nuclear tipped missiles, I’m sure supplied by us, surely helped in that growth ).  What I find annoying is the whole “we’re the globes number one class of victims, feel sorry for us” schtick.  You have your own country, you have a fleet of subs that will fuse any attackers into a radioactive sheet of glass, your army usually wins its wars.  Stop whining about the Holocaust.  You are just embarrassing yourself ( I’ll leave alone whether the thing actually happened ).
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Anyway, the part of the movie I enjoyed was when the worker was timed by the concentration camp commander in some task.  The worker, thinking if he didn’t hustle the commander would feed his testicles to the German Shepherds, performed in record time.  The commander then wanted to know why his whole shift performance wasn’t as speedy.  I think the commander had him killed then.  Of course, this was pure propaganda, as was the scene in which a random prisoner was shot by the commander.  The message of course was that the commander was a psycho little freak,  but it totally ignores the culture of the Germans.  You did as you were told, and you were told in detail, and usually you enjoyed it.  The whole point of the camps was not to get rid of the Jews, although that was certainly a huge bonus as those boys didn’t want the gene pool contaminated ( which of course bit them on the ass since all the Jews developed the atom bomb ) but to exploit all that free labor.  Free labor substituted for lack of fuel.  Work them to death, strip the corpse of valuables, then burn them for hygienic reasons.  If you’ll remember in the movie, all those piles of gold teeth fillings,  the piles of shoes and clothes?  Nothing was wasted, because the war machine needed everything.  So, if nothing was wasted, and if meticulous records were kept of everything, what makes you think the commander would be allowed to waste valuable workers by killing them for fun, then lying about how they died?  Those were not his instructions.  If you are going to spend fifty million bucks on a propaganda piece, can we at least get one that follows its own internal logic properly?  Am I asking too much?  Now, even though those evil Nazi pricks starved all those poor defenseless workers ( I’m not trivializing the suffering of the victims, but it bewilders me that so few Jews fought back.  Even to this day, look at the number of pampered protected Jews who embrace the new Fuehrer and trust him enough to actively call for gun control.  The stupid fucks have learned nothing from history ), and being starved certainly effects your cognitive powers, surely some of them figured out to limit their performance under their abilities.  It just makes sense.  If you get sick, do you want the boss to see you lag in performance?  No, your speed should be 50%, then if you are injured or sick, you can still achieve that same benchmark.  I’m sure those poor bastards that survived the camps had this figured out ( well, it was that or be a snitch or turncoat ).  And I’m sure that American workers had this figured out when that jagoff wearing the tie was around.  And yet the modern managers all worship their predecessors who came up with these studies.  See?  Proof positive that ties make you a damn idiot.
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So, between tie wearing managers, survival gurus who claimed that by changing our spots we could all survive forever after, because their publisher was one of those idiots wearing a tie and demanded that all doom and gloom books carry a positive message on the end because hermits living in a cave will buy zero books in the future, and our natural inclination to both cling to the status quo because of the past financial bets we made, plus the males need to procreate even if it ends his life and the females need to look successful and desirable above all other rivals,  almost nobody really wants to prepare for surviving the end of their civilization.  They might make feeble gestures, then congratulate themselves vigorously at their efforts no matter how inappropriate or pathetic, but for the most part nobody wants to really put much effort into things.  They will go overboard once the collapse is evident, but none will take the actions truly necessary beforehand.  That is were I planned on beating the herd.  Because those hundreds of years of resources our Pilgrim ancestors stole fair and square from the indigs ( despite such movies as “Dances With Wolves”- a wonderful flick but a bit on the Wishful Thinking That The Nobel Red Man Was A Tree Hugger- the Indians were no different than the white boys.  They used up their resources by overpopulating and then used warfare to steal their neighbors food to stay alive ) was pretty much already done used up and gone the way of the Dodo bird.  Even if we all put solar panels on our McMansions we were going to hit Peak Everything ( and have already hit many resource peaks.  Coal, as measured in delivered BTU, peaked a decade ago in this country.  We might mine twice as such as before, but the energy it delivers is in aggregate less because we only have low grade coal left.  Peak Oil for the US was in 1971.  Even adding Alaska, The Gulf and North Dakota, we are pumping far less than before.  And Saudi Arabia won’t save us as they are at peak themselves.  Even if Abiotic Oil theory is correct, if the replenish rate is far below use rate it is still Game Over.  Even Peak Phosphorus in the 80’s which is needed in agriculture ) and that is the end of Pax Americana.  The richest won’t survive.  Their comprehension of necessities verses luxury is so skewed that both their supplies will be lacking as well as their fortitude.  Only those willing to go Genghis immediately, with a proper grasp on strategy, and the proper location with a large dash of luck are going to survive the coming collapse.  You must be at the right place at the right time, and then have enough intelligence to not fuck up your one opportunity.  I could still fuck up this wet dream ( how do you fuck up a wet dream?  Wake up and jerk off ) but I planned on giving it my best to survive, which wasn’t by wearing Birkenstocks and a peace necklace listening to the Grateful Dead as I hoed my asparagus.  How these brain dead humps can imagine that they will be left in peace while the world starves is beyond my comprehension.  Nobody, once hungry enough, will observe another’s property rights.  The human race has survived by forceful limited resource redistribution.  I might be too old to care if I live or die in the process, but I’m sure going to have fun playing the game.

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End part one.
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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

not just survive but thrive

NOT JUST SURVIVE BUT THRIVE
Now, for those who erroneously believe I am an evil little troll who delights in the prospect of unprecedented pain and suffering for 99.9% of the globes population any time soon now as the petroleum supply contracts much quicker than in times past since this time around there is no replacement fuel elsewhere and so the rate of pumping depleting fields will intensify as a result, you are mostly correct.  Alas, the Devil is in the details.  While I’m prepared to enjoy the collapse as long as it only affects other people, I’m only enjoying it out of self preservation and not because I hold a mental deficiency in which I truly revel in others pain and suffering.  It is just like soldiers, cops or others who confront death daily who erect a wall of indifference and morbid humor to deflect what would otherwise be a soul crushing reality.  You have to laugh in the face of approaching death because otherwise you just lie whimpering in the corner in the fetal position suckling your thumb.  You may believe that a half million barrels a day of North Dakota frac oil only drilled now that oil is staying at a hundred bucks a barrel will save the day.  But this is just positive proof that the end of Cheap Oil happened more than a half a decade ago.  Frac oil cost six to eight million bucks a well head to drill and that unit can lose up to 80% of its yield after the first year.  And when you turn half your national corn yield into low energy ethanol, only replacing single digits of motor fuel use, you ain’t on the road to energy independence.  You are well down the road to running out of energy.  We will drain out all the old fields of their natural gas using fracking, and suck up the reachable rock oil in North Dakota, and that has certainly bought us some valuable time.  But just as monetizing your debt only kicks the can down the road so long before you experience a financial meltdown, so using low yield energy only keeps your high use low cost energy civilization together so long before one day you are losing energy too quick and critical infrastructure starts to fail and starts a chain reaction.  Civilizations end in a much messier manner than economies. 
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And, if you please, even totally discounting the entire Peak Oil argument, by of course just painting me with the Crazy Bastard Brush, you still get to worry about a whole slew of other disasters waiting in line such as the legions of Olympic size pools full of spent fuel rods which rely on electrically induced flows of cooling water to keep them from blowing up and farting tons of radioactive crap into my quota of breathable oxygen or the escalating release ( speaking of farting ) of methane from the ocean beds and tundra or the new bizarre as normal weather playing havoc with our crop yields, or take your pick of the potential disaster de jour.   This country is already in a National Socialist mode of governance, the entire population subserviently making no fuss as the average citizen is told he or she may be detained indefinitely without trial, yet as soon as their officially granted form of free wealth is threatened such as when Butt Pirates or Carpet Lickers can’t get free health care from their civil servants coverage because they aren’t allowed to be legally married, why then all Hell breaks loose and the vengeful haters go on strike.  There are absolutely no impediments to rolling out a dictatorship in this country other than the high level of Federal incompetence.  The “voters”, those brainwashed welfare pukes who allow themselves to believe in the myth of democracy if it pays good hard cash, think nothing of rewarding the next Hitler, Stalin or Obammy as long as their checks are continually deposited in the bank and they are able to withdraw it before the bank closes down ( and no, this isn’t a rant against poor people on welfare.  Rich people are far worse offenders, churning out ten billion dollar airplanes that fall out of the sky as soon as they are painted by enemy radar or arming our poverty stricken conscripts with rimfire carbines that jam every fifth magazine ).  All those idiots whispering about Black Helicopters and UN troops and the Rothchild family rigging elections.  Shitte!  FDR offered the masses a government check in exchange for the Constitution and they not only eagerly agreed, they erected statues of the crippled puke and put a framed portrait in every government office.  All Hail Mighty Caesar!   There is no “selling out your grandchildren”.  That happened generations ago.  The only thing we are waiting on is the arming of every government uniformed agent, law enforcement or otherwise, with machineguns and giving them the authority to fire at will.  Then the classic dictatorship aspects of governance will appear plain.  They already have the legal authority and the approval of the masses.  Total one man god like power was granted decades ago during the Cold War.  Once we see enough resource depletion and uber-rich wealth destruction, the velvet gloves will come off.
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You can take all your Peak Oil, your Yellowstone eruptions, your sun spot eruptions, and they only make a bit of difference as far as ADDING to the problems we already have which are economic meltdown and total government control of all aspects of our lives ( which, to reiterate, has been law for generations- the bleating and hand wringing are being done as if there is still a choice we can make ).  Collapse, as I keep saying, is already a done deal ( yes, depletion caused the economics and government action, but while I care about that, you only need care about the effects ).  All solutions being applied are from eighty years ago prior to resource depletion.  They won’t work.  This isn’t the fanciful imagination of introverts consuming too many conspiracy theories on that brand spanking new device called the InterWeb, convinced that Y2K will kill us all ( I’ll leave the final word to my loyal minion who has more experience in the field to conclude that the crisis was real- even if it hadn’t been the experience wasn’t a waste as preps are never a bad investment ).  This is no more complicated than that which has toppled most civilizations in the past, economic meltdown leading to military defeat and overpopulation.  Sure, I’m of the Mayan School of Collapse, the view that we have run out of corn during a drought and we have too many pyramid builders to feed.  And I’m still sticking with the Peak Oil view.  But even if you don’t, you can’t deny economic collapse and dictatorship.  They have been happening already.  The only questions left are how much time before we can’t react proactively anymore and the particular effects of the process as far as affecting us personally.  It isn’t “what could possible go wrong?”.  That is asking how we can get into town AFTER the horse has bolted from the barn.  If we had gotten a second job while we still had the horse, and stashed away a bit of silver to be able to buy another horse, that is one thing.  Once the one and only horse is gone it is too late.  Stop asking the wrong question.  It isn’t what could go wrong.  It already has.  Only the question of time remains.
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And so it simply amazes me when folks get together on certain Yuppie Survivalist forums and clap each other on the back and award the Ultimate Schmuck Award Of The Decade to each other as they talk about how in only fifteen years they will move out to the country once they find their perfect retreat location, conveniently forgetting that in that time frame there will be about another fifteen million to twenty five million mouths to feed in this country and even if nothing whatsoever goes wrong which is highly improbably although not impossible you will have a heck of a lot more overcrowding and a lot of once perfect locations are going to be jammed cheek to jowl and your three hundred thousand dollar retreat is now next to a new ghetto they erected twenty miles from the nearest water source so your deep well is sucked dry by the new neighbors.  But even the ignorance there doesn’t move me to tears as much as the assumption that every reader thinks he is the new Survivalist Guru Messiah.   Folks, a few very smart people ( which doesn’t include me.  I was your basic idiot thinking Y2K in the city wasn’t a death sentence.  Keep mind my own ignorance and shame thereof as I’m delivering this message.  Be smarter than me, not as stupid.  As they say, God looks after children, drunks and imbeciles.  I can only be the latter as I’ve been blessed to avoid paying for all my stupid strategies in years past ) moved out to the middle of nowhere twenty years ago and are teaching about their experience and making money off of it.  That option is not open to you.  Stop trying to emulate it.  The real estate was much cheaper back then, both because we haven’t erased all the gains from the bubble and because the locals are hyper-jacking tax rates in a desperate attempt to survive.  The land is more crowded, it costs more to get some, it costs a heck of a lot more to stay there, you can’t get bank financing if you are silly enough try that and there are no jobs to be had.  And back then, we weren’t in a friggin Depression, you humping moron!  Oil was $20 a barrel and all corresponding consumer items reflected that.  Every prep item was one third the price.  Really?  You want to copy the strategy of pallets full of ammo so that you can go play Army out in the woods?  Forget about it getting you killed, you can’t afford it.  And you certainly don’t have twenty years to prepare.  This crap is going down now.
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Do you know why the news last Friday on a bank losing two billion in a trade was a big deal?  Two billion ain’t diddly squat crap any more.  The fedgov borrows that every couple of hours.  Well, borrows is such an ugly word, and not very accurate.  Every few hours the fedgov is given two billion by the central bank, the government will henceforth and forever more pay interest on it, and both parties congratulate themselves on how smart they are and boy howdy wasn’t it a good thing they went to Harvard?  The loan will never be paid back.  When you borrow 40% of your yearly budget, there ain’t any left over to pay back past loans, even if you are being creative by conjuring up a recovery and using that as justification for cutting out the extended unemployment bennies ( the fabled “99 weeks” ), thereby slowing the economic implosion from speed of light to merely the speed of sound.  Whew!  We sure dodged a bullet there!  Once we cut all payments to everyone we can stay in power another year and a half!  Anyway, when a bank loses two billion, it is such a small amount in the big picture.  And I’m sure the central bank will step in to cover the lose ( I believe it was JP Morgan ).  But it is still a dangerous sign of the times.  Two billion cash money covers hundreds of billions in derivatives bets.  Remember those pesky derivatives?  They are what is allowing the can to be kicked down the road but they are also going to be the cause of the global financial implosion.  Once the measly assets holding the whole rotted ball of hope and dreams together fails, the chain reaction starts.  Which is why all the money printing over in Europe.  Let one small loan go belly up and the whole thing unravels.  Two billion this time with JP Morgan, no big deal, we’ll cover that bad boy.  One day a couple or three of those at the same time and they get away from the lever pullers and in minutes your ATM network is down for the count with the indefinite bank holiday ( with full credit to the fine novel “Shut Down” ).
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The point is not that we will all die next Wednesday.  No one can predict that.  Which is my friggin point exactly.  You can’t know for sure how much time is left.  The economic meltdown could be minutes or years away.  How much warning did you get in 2007?  As I always said in years gone by, be prepared as if the collapse is tomorrow.  Then, recently, I got a lot of pressure from Fraq Fags ( this is the “we will remain on top of the global food chain for the next hundred years because I heard one idiot guess we have a century of natural gas left” types.  They have little or no relation to pillow biting butt pirates who individually are usually pretty nice fellows to hang around but as a whole are obnoxious momma boy cry babies over not being allowed to be a recognized rewarded minority.  I’m not allowed to be a minority of one for having the worlds best looking hair and being the biggest pain in the ass but you don’t hear me whining ) and the AR worshipers about how cruel and mean I am for only allowing minions to eat wheat gruel  and only arm themselves with single shot rifles.  So of course I caved to political pressure and I’ve slightly amended my position to the new “have your basic preps yesterday, then if we don’t all die a horrible and elongated death you should upgrade to better supplies”.  You would have thought this would have appeased everyone and my legions of willing cannon fodder eager to conquer the Great Basin ( come on, be realistic.  No one else will want the bitch, so the odds are good we’ll roll over the opposition and you’ll actually survive ) would grow to embarrassing proportions and my personal wealth would have grown and my junk would have been the death of me as crowds of willing virgins threw themselves at me and wore out my aged heart but alas the exact opposite happened and now I have to deal with some bullcrap about “I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive!”.  Oh my sweet lord Baby Jesus.  Are you people actually for real?  Do you have any conception of how civilizations collapse?  I’m willing to place a large part of my token paycheck in the bet that you really believe the rest of the 330 million asshating whoremongering dillholing mouth breathing oxygen wasters will leave you in peace to tend to your asparagus garden as they starve to death.
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Anyone been paying attention to the middle east or East Africa lately?  Hillary might be spouting crap about democracy or other such drivel but those fine folks have been under dictatorship for multiple generations and they didn’t make a whole lot of fuss before.   It wasn’t until the poor couldn’t buy cheap subsidized grain anymore that the masses revolted.  You don’t risk your life if you are the sole breadwinner of the family until you can’t bring bread home anymore.  Do you think it is just a coincidence that Mexico is now a failed state right after the one/two punch of oil field depletion and the end to American corn?  Folks living down on the border, your friendly FedGov has sold you out to the border incursion criminal gangs so the voters in Yankeeland can fill up on subsidized ethanol laced gasoline ( a year on, I’m glad I retired the truck as our towns last station went over to the crap ethanol polluted gasoline just recently.  The truck, being a patriotic all American built unit, didn’t take kindly to First Kenyan mandated fake fuel ) to keep their banker owned SUV’s running back and forth to the MakeWork jobs to keep the mortgage payments coming.  When California blows, 90% due to their own ignorant Socialist wishful thinking and 10% due to the Feds refusing a bailout but only offering a low interest loan as if that bunghole of a location needs anymore debt, all those worthless idiots are going to rush the exits and flood the rest of the country as refugees ( I’m speaking of a pre-Apocalypse exodus, due to finances ) and then, come the collapse, every location out there is going to have twice as many mouths it can’t feed when we are forced overnight to go from petroleum farming to organic farming.  Hint, the soil is dead, the cities suburbs are paved over and the aquifers are depleted, so good luck surviving that.  Starvation could, from any number of causes from grid down to dollar down to Straights Of Hormuz down, be in our immediate future.  Baring an armed, provisioned army, you are double humped.  You will be damned lucky to survive and I can guarantee you, you will get religion darn quick on the new definition of luxury.
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You really think you have the luxury of time to buy only freeze dried foods, exotic imported spices, and vast selections to ensure variety of your menu?  You will be lucky if you get enough calories.  Of ANY kind.  Your home in the suburbs or your Uncle’s farmhouse, they are targets.  If you can get enough armed hands to defend yourself, great.  You have a chance.  Now, try to both A) buy them enough ammunition for their semi-auto’s and B) a varied, high cost luxury food supply.  You can’t.  The only thing you can afford, past the two or three person level, is bolt action ammo and basic grains and beans.  And the beans will be a luxury as they are twice the cost of grain.  We aren’t playing around here with a two week disruption from a tornado here.  We are talking about actual lack of food imports to feed your community.  What killed the Roman Empire quicker than snot?  A combination of inflation, military over extension, overpopulation and weather change.  Sound familiar?  The Romans owned the trade routes, the currency, had the most advanced military of the day, and as the weather that fed a million city pukes a day from imported Egyptian wheat changed, there wasn’t a way to feed everyone.  And the empire disintegrated.  And all the rich Senators living in luxury, eating only the best foods, died with the rest.  Take a friggin clue, please!  Assume the worst and prepare with multiple years of food.  If it is less than perfect food, it is still calories.  And for humps sake, get it while the cost is still reflected with relatively cheap oil. 

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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

the czars janissaries

THE CZARS JANISSARIES
The first week of May the Yuppie folks over at Rawles got to talking about the Mosin Nagant bolt action rifle.  One reader reported his experience with the gun, which involved exploding parts and serious reconstructive surgery.  It makes sense that his was the first word in recent memory raised against the weapon.  If you are part of the Yuppie Elite and are silly enough to go firing said rifle, and it blows up on you as has been warned about repeatedly here at Bison, you can afford to actually pay for medical treatment.  Us regular redneck trailer trash folk go out playing with dangerous toys and we just take our own lives into our hands.  We can’t afford medical care outside the old women down the holler who dispenses herbs and magic potions (  the cure for impotence is of course her number one seller and it must work because the place is lousy with curtain climbers ).  So when one of us has a bolt action from a hundred years ago detonate, we just die in obscurity.  Of course, word gets out to kin and neighbors so the weapon of choice stays the single barrel shotgun, but the city folk stocking up on the gun bargain of the century never hear of these events and so its undesirability is underreported.  Until today!  Glory be, a stand up Yuppie Scum stood up and demanded to be counted!  He took out time from serious Mammon worship to spread a very important message.  The MN Russian bolt gun can be a dangerous bastard.  It has no gas bleed safety, a feature deemed by the Queen and the Kaiser to be important enough to be included in their armies primary weapon.  In short, the Czar deemed his Slave Soldiers to be so unworthy of consideration that their rifle was as dangerous to its user as the enemy.
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Now, kindly refrain from blowing an ass gasket here.  I don’t mean that the Russian bolt isn’t survivalist worthy.  Obviously, a gun that has a chance of blowing up once every ten thousand firings ( I have no idea of the odds of malfunction, I’m just spitballing here ) is dangerous to the user, but far more dangerous is NOT having a rifle you can fire for the first nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine times.  Better a potentially dangerous hunk of crap than no weapon at all.  Buy your Russian bolt, 800 rounds, all $300 worth, and you should survive the apocalypse in style.  Just use the bastard long enough to score a decent weapon made by anyone else ( even the French or Italians ).  So why 800 rounds?  Why not 400 ( reducing the cost to $200 total )?  Well, I wouldn’t be testing the fickle bitch Fate.  She can chew you up and spit you out just out of spite.  Compared to any ex-wife throughout history, or perhaps any minor deity,  Fate is one mean mo humper.  You stockpile the extra, just in case.  Hell, it would be a good thing to have nobody around to steal a weapon from.  That means there is nobody to harass you.  Also, beware assuming you are on the bottom of the food chain with your Russian bolt.  There might be dudes with nothing more than bows and arrows or chunks of rebar as weapons.  In a battlefield where everything is equal (  let’s assume for illustrations sake, for instance, two fools are hunkered down behind a wall exchanging potshots back and forth ) weapon selection is critical.  But come partisan/guerilla warfare, attitude is more important at times.  If the rebar club guy is skilled and patient, you don’t stand a chance against him.  So don’t let your guard down!
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Anyway, We’ve established the parameters of Mosin-Nagant ownership.  Only own one if you can’t afford anything else.  And don’t be drawn into the false economy of the ammunition.  You can reload most other calibers just as cheaply as buying another steel cased Russian round.  And here is an important consideration.  If ammo is a disappearing species, you don’t want to rely of overseas imports.  If oil goes to $200 or whatever, who says Russian ammo will still be shipped over here?  What if the Rubel becomes much more valuable than the Dollar?  You’ve lost your ability to buy any more ammo, at least affordably.  And since all your cases you already own are steel cased, you can’t just reload them.  You have worthless cases.  Any other caliber/round you can save the cases and reuse them.  Factor in the cost of a lost potential to reload if you are using Russian ammo.  For a weapon to bury and forget, or for a weapon you will use to steal another better rifle, they are fine.  But they are a Better Than Nothing.  I love Better Than Nothings, in all forms and shapes.  But you must keep in mind their limitations, trade-offs and true costs.
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Now, I’m a pretty darn nice fellow.  Sure, a bit rough around polite society, but that’s just ma lack of proper lernin, ya see.  Actually, its because I’m just a regular Joe that doesn’t much take to putting on airs.  I’m rude and crude and you don’t get any polish with that.  There is no free lunch and polish cost real cash money.  Anyway, being so damn nice that I almost offend myself, I repeatedly try to warn folks about most military hardware.  I’ve yelled at you dozens of times about the danger of the Russian bolt, and I’ve tried to debunk the legend of Extreme Super Duper Military Gear.  Some military gear is very well made.  Other hardware is just pure crap.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  Personal clothing, rugged and long lasting.  The Hummer, a mechanical piece of junk.  Compared to the Jeep, an embarrassment.   The M-60 squad automatic machine gun, one of the worst designs in modern military history.  The M-16, the second worse design of all time.  Yet so many folks are enamored with military equipment.  They think that just because the military bought it, it must be the very best.  They also think that since the United States was once a Constitutional Republic, we are the best government on Earth.  This is called a brain fart, or to be more precise, a brainwashed fool.  Don’t believe everything your forth grade teacher taught you.  We might be the best government around in relation to other socialist paradises and Third World crapholes, but we ain’t crap compared to the country we used to be.  Explain to me where the Constitution allows its own suspension just because the leading elite wish it to be so.
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And the military is notorious for being given crap, especially when money is involved.  You think the Russians are the exception?  They are just following the general rule.  Armies have almost never given much thought to keeping their troops alive.  The infantry is a replaceable commodity like bullets or beans.  I’m of the mind that the Russian bolt action rifle was churned out by the tens of millions, and a gas bleed safety would have cost an unacceptable amount of money in the process.   The British and German armies only produced their rifles by the single millions, their troops were more expensive to train, and so more thought was given to the quality of the rifles.  Not that those governments cared more for the lives of their troops, just that the rifles were too expensive to produce in vast quantities as were their operators.  In those armies, you couldn’t afford to have the rifles blown up.  It took too long to ship in another operator, and the rifles could only be produced using scarce supplies.  Russia on the other hand had an almost unlimited supply of young men and undreamed of amounts of raw material.  It was cheaper to replace both the rifle and man ( the troops received almost no training ) than to train them properly or produce quality items.  In short, Russia had material and could skimp on quality.  Other armies had little raw material and had to substitute quality for quantity.
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The United States had a bit of a mixture of these two extremes.  It had ( and I use the past tense to denote a condition that no longer applies ) unlimited raw materials, but it also had unlimited manpower.  We churned out fair to middlin quality equipment, but applied men poorly trained to the meat grinder.  This went on from the War Of Northern Aggression to the middle of the Vietnam War.  During that last conflict we saw an economic crash and a petroleum supply issue ( we went from self-sufficient to import dependent.  There was plenty of oil after 1970, it just wasn’t ours ).  We no longer could waste supplies indiscriminately, so we went to the older mode the western Europeans had always followed, turning to quality since we couldn’t afford quantity.  Our manpower went from ill trained mass to better trained and in much smaller groups.  But oddly, our equipment didn’t follow the quality rule.  Oh, we turn out very little.  The number of ships or tanks or any other weapon we turn out is piddling compared to what we used to field.  But we turn out mostly crap.  The men are better trained, and we have roughly one tenth what we used to even as our population has doubled, but it seems we are determined to kill them off with inadequate equipment. 
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I don’t know for sure why this is, other than the military has roughly followed the trend of the rest of our society which is “form over function”.  Since we don’t have the resources to actually produce anything anymore, we have taken to building cheap facades that offer the illusion of our former wealth.  Can’t build a sturdy house, given the shortage of good lumber and other material?  Gum and glue and green wood and sheetrock and plastic sheets to seal the cracks.  It looks really good, even if the material are, at best, substandard.  Can’t hit the enemy?  It looks pretty awesome when each weapon can fire hundreds of rounds downrange.  We don’t have the resources to supply battle rifles to the troops, but don’t worry- we can supply three rounds of carbine ammunition to every battle rifle round we used to use ( remember, one tenth the troops we used to have means far less supplies even if they are wasted now ).  The M-16 looks cool, it is easy for our new female infantry to use ( because, hey, it looks good when we pretend we don’t discriminate ), so everyone can pretend it isn’t a foul hunk of crap.  No wonder everyone likes the Russian Mosin-Nagant.  It also indiscriminately kills its users.  There must be something about playing Russian Roulette with your personal firearm that appeals to some folks ( again, if it is all you can afford, I can see where you are forced to play the game.  My scorn is reserved for those people than can afford a better rifle but refuse to believe their rifle is dangerous.  They place way too high a level of belief and faith in military organizations ). 
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There were widespread reports of failures in the field with the M-16.  In response, the military changed the ammunition for the worse but lined the barrel to stop rust in a jungle environment and added a bolt assist so you could force a round around the fouling into the chamber.  Hey, problem solved!  And every little lapdog Yuppie Scum survivalist lapped it up like mothers milk.  Oh, we love you, mighty military.  We want to be just like you.  Give us an exact copy of your crappy carbine!  Please, people, it is all form over function.  Looking good ain’t the same as performing well.  The military hates its members.  It doesn’t value their lives.  The peons are cannon fodder to be replaced as needed.  If the opposite was true, they would be issued decent weapons.  Okay, I can see how mistakes can be made.  The military thinks, hey, we want to be like our little fag buddies over in, say, Holland, and use a standard pistol round.  Never mind the military went from a 38 to a 45 because the 38 wouldn’t kill our little brown skinned terrorists over in the Philippines, and the 9mm is probably worse than the 38.  Forget all that ancient history.  We must look good by pretending to like fags, and the 9mm is a fags best friend.  Very easy on the limp wrist.  So, you made a mistake thinking if you are going to keep a full metal jacketed round you could go to a much smaller round.  Once your troops are reporting back to you that this thing couldn’t topple a chipmunk, admit your mistake and go back to something that works. 
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If you wanted to stay with a carbine round because your new volunteer army had about zero marksmen amongst then, fine.  If you must go with spray and pray, okay.  At least replace the rifle that keeps jamming in all environments from jungle to desert.  You can’t tell me it is because “we are getting our monies worth”.  The Garand saw less service time than most service rifles and by most reports it was a kick-ass rifle ( most negative things I read relate to loading it ).  So we keep a piece of crap Mattel Toy rifle over twice as long as the Garand?  There are plenty of other designs out there that don’t jam, yet are accurate and light weight.  Use one of those.  It can’t be because you want it American made.  The pistol we carry, the squad machine gun, both are Belgium ( so is the beer we serve on base ).  And it can’t be because a certain Senator got bribed to force the Colt design through.  Surely he is dead by now.  If our troops were valued they would not be issued the M-16.  Because I don’t think troop safety is in the equation.  Everything but.
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Just as in Czarist Russia most of the population was worth nothing more than servants to the royalty, here in this country the poor are nothing more than shoe shiners to the one percent and cannon fodder in the wars to retain control over cheap raw materials.  For every ounce of plastic a business is forced to pay double, for every worker that receives medical insurance, little Richie Rich is brutally and unjustly denied a second Porsche to ride to Yale in.  The poor are scum.  The rich hate them for being their inferiors, thinking they themselves are placed on the top of the heap by Darwinist selection ( and, they fear the poor if they were ever to get out of control ).  The middle class hate the poor because they themselves are two paychecks and one denied credit card away from joining their ranks.  As a result, many and varied obstacles are placed in the way of the poor.  Both to keep them in their place and to deny them easy upward mobility ( by setting the bar high ).  Oh, no one is denied access to the ladder.  If you play the game you are allowed to ascend.  But if you are forced into perpetual poverty, or are silly enough to embrace it, you are hated by one and all for that condition.  So, when you are conscripted into the military, no one else cared.  And when your weapon jammed on you, surely it wasn’t that fine high tech weapon American workers toiled to construct, a weapon designed by an American college trained engineer, oh no.  If the weapon jammed, ultimately it was the fault of the operator.  He was after all a poor uneducated brute.  Unable to learn how to clean his weapon.  It was all his fault.
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And to this day, a piece of Shitte weapon is revered and worshiped as a wonderful military designed instrument.  The military, run by those wonderful officers from the better families, or by those wishing to join said elite and willing to play the game of Hump The Poor Worthless Enlisted, certainly is not to be blamed for acquiring anything other than perfect equipment.  They are after all rather the perfect leaders, burdened with the task of prodding along the unwashed masses of Poor.  Is it their fault that after all the money they graciously donate in unfair taxes that the idiots refuse to learn?  The Rich Mans Burden.  I almost feel sorry for them. 
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Look at the history of weapons made illegal.  The Saturday Night Special.  The SKS from China.  Cheap guns are declared illegal.  First, to deny the truly poor the ability to both defend themselves and to arm themselves for insurrection.   And mainly because that is just what the rich and wannabe rich do.  They throw up obstacles.  Try building affordable housing in almost any section of this country.  Try building your own car.  Try raising your own food.  Try running your own business cheaply ( read, no expensive regulations and taxes ).  Anyway, the only reason we were “allowed” to buy cheap rifles was because, hey, they aren’t REAL rifles.  Bolt actions, such relics of a bygone era.  Why, our troops will rain hellfire down upon the heads of insurgents who have the audacity to defy us.  Even if half of them jam, we will win since we are righteous and look cool spraying lead downrange.  Sure, you guys look good.  Especially with those dickhead looking Kraut helmets.   Which is why I think we really went with all those doodads and gadgets attached to them.  It broke up the phallic shape.  We are indeed led by idiots.  Who think they aren’t.
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Okay, enough of that.  Two minor additions.  One, thanks whole big bunches to Sam, you beautiful bastard, for the generous donation.  Just don’t do it again unless 1) you are golden with preps and can afford it, 2) you realize I’m almost free of supporting the ex-wife and will soon have 8/11’s of my paycheck free and clear and 3) you like my new weekly format and believe you are getting value from it in some form.  Next, canned corned beef.  I dug deep in a cupboard and pulled out ten year old cans of the stuff.  It had started to get rust spots so I’ve been eating one or two a month in homemade corned beef hash.  The ones that have the key to open, where you open in a line around the bottom half an inch up, they were all fine and tasty.  The ones that had a pop top bottom were all bad.  You could see where a tiny amount of juice had leaked through the perforation.  I threw away six cans, afraid to open them.  Do NOT buy pop top cans.  If you did, and they are still okay, make certain they are stored right side up so there is no pressure on the opening.  Eat quickly and replace with better cans ( I’ve not had any problems with generic Spam and their pop tops- just beware stacking them too high and putting pressure on the bottom cans ). 
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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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My books available at
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Anyone can submit a guest article.  No minimum word length, no writing skill necessary ( just get the idea across ).  You retain copyright ( this must be your original writing ) and I’ll just use the once.  I’ve yet to turn down an article, just don’t use the N Bomb or libel another that can sue me.  Send by e-mail ( please, label as “guest article” so I can find it easily later ).  Payment will be your removal from my enemies list.
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By the by, all my writing is copyrighted.  For the obtuse out there.