Tuesday, November 13, 2012

keeping up with the clintons

KEEPING UP WITH THE CLINTONS
We all remember the Hillary Clinton Presidency.  Mysterious bodies littering the weeds next to the runway in rural Arkansas, mysterious suicides where the individual doesn’t expire before he transports himself to another location.  Mysterious investments that return fabulous returns almost mathematically impossible.  Mysterious explosions that normally are barely adequate to peel paint mysteriously sheering internal support structures ( which was mysteriously duplicated on 9/11 ).   Mysteriously violent children in rural Texas that can only be dispatched before they endanger the valiant and courageous Federal LEO’s by pumping explosive gas into their impenetrable bunker complex, or their twins in Idaho that are so dangerous their mother must be disposed of while suckling another evil child ( evidently, “Terminator” like disposing of the mother should “disappear” the teenager ).  Not that I blame Bill for any of this, you understand.  If you were some clueless schmuck from Hicksville that got the offer from your wife for all the “strange” you could handle from White House interns ( dripping estrogen after inhaling the aura of power ) in exchange for playing the clueless idiot ( which usually entailed nothing more strenuous than a quick jog in between fast food restaurants ) I would be all over that offer.  Hillary, being the shred politician she is, knew that no matter how PC we act, deep down no one wants a women with her finger on the nuclear button every 28 days, and she prudently ruled from behind the throne. 
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Who do we have behind the throne today?  A nasty looking butch ( not that Hillary was all that hot, but after three whiskey chasers most guys would still mount her ) who shovels fried chicken and grits down her gullet behind closed doors but preaches tree hugging veganism starvation diets to the public ( at least past presidents had the gonads to call broccoli the putrid devils slop that it is, rather than grin like a buffoon at the suggestion he should eat it.  Acting presidential should involve red meat and potatoes or at least greasy cheeseburgers and fries like Bill did ) ( and while we are on the subject, the “healthy” diet being forced down your kids throat is a precursor to a subpar calorie imposed diet in the near future where Soylent Green is a luxury only dimly remembered ).  Before, you knew the veiled threat from Hillary.  Enrich me,  obey me, or die.  Now, a national security risk is treated to a free visit by a  whore and compromising pictures are used to threaten resignation ( I’m referring to the general who resigned after a sex scandal, days prior to testimony about the assassination of our diplomatic personnel Obammy witnessed in real time ).  Damn, sign me up for that threat!  I would have loved to have a Russian gal blackmail me back in the day working security at an intelligence unit but evidently the commies already knew everything so there was no need to compromise any Americans.  I guess you still only get that option if you are a General ( bastard officers! ) with news that the Muslim-In-Chief lets towel-heads kill our boys at will ( I don’t care if the blue blood east coast rich humps get killed, but I take exception when the rank and file soldiers are taken down also ).
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Why are our leaders such pussies anymore?  If someone is going to pillage and plunder my village I’d much rather it be Attila The Hun than a three piece suit corporate lackey.  At least with barbarians you can justifiably explain your cowardice while fleeing the invader.  With a smiling banker it is hard to justify your obsequiousness.   Okay, sure, Obammy has got a few brigades of ex-con New Black Panther Brown Shirts to intimidate and cow the White masses ( vote for our boy or we burn your town and violate your women ).  But that is just like a Suit, isn’t it?  Buy off armed violence to be your bully boys.  A real man ( such as Hillary ) wades into the fray with sword on hand, he doesn’t slip a bag of gold to the barbarian army to do his fighting for him.  So, there you have it.  Obammy is not only a Kenyan and a foreigner, and most likely a Muslim, he has less of a set of testicles than Hillary Clinton has.  How embarrassing.  Can I have a recount on the election?
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I think regardless of the election being rigged ( if only by never allowing an outsider to run ), we still get who our rulers think we want and need.  In the early nineties we were still feeling free and all Americanish.  It took a ballsy bitch to put us down by brute force, to show us the steel fist covered by the velvet glove.  We got the message.  From then on anybody could be presented as our leader and we meekly followed him, lest we feel the wraith of stormtroopers surrounding our compound, ninja SWAT teams shooting us as they took all our property with Asset Forfeiture, or we suicided.  Now any slimy bankers butt boy can shuck and jive us and we obediently kowtow in sublimation, thinking of our reward of nachos and professional football the whole time, confused as to how our founding fathers ever thought freedom was such a great thing.  But, hey, don’t feel too bad.  Our great grandfathers fought for freedom and lost during The War Of Northern Aggression and ever since then the bankers secretly ruled our lives.   We thought we were still free twenty years ago, but we were taught otherwise.  Now that the bankers put a public face on their rule, it does make us feel bad about ourselves.  But before any of us were born the war had already been won against us.  Blame the bastards who last had a chance to stop the genocide, who sold us out for a few crusts of bread from FDR.  The current generation never had a chance.
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4 comments:

  1. Several years ago I was having a conversation with a gentleman, a resident of a nursing home, about the state of our country. This was back during Wild Bill's reign as prez. The man was well into his 90's and sharp as a tack. He suddenly broke down and started crying. Stating that his generation had "Let us kids down. The country isn't what he grew up in and now it's gone." He repeated a couple of times "We failed you." I was stunned. Now here I am. Past a half century and looking back, this isn't the same country that I grew up in either. Shit. Now I'm feeling bummed. I need a beer.-SemperFido

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  2. File this one in the Top Ten Rants. I trust you had EMS on stand-by. Still wiping the spittle from the table. Also regarding Zena, I like the way the line runs up the back of her stocking. No No No Don't take them off.

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  3. I know you aint talkin bout the first tranny moochelle obammy

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  4. Damn, Jim. You buried the most important 90s thing "...From then on anybody could be presented as our leader and we meekly followed him..."

    Spot on. I never thought about it

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