Tuesday, October 9, 2012

who farted?

WHO FARTED?
While farting is fun, let’s talk about the other kind of gas.  Natural gas.  Actually, farts are natural gas and they don’t require drilling rigs, but just like the communists took over the word liberal ( which used to mean more, not less, freedom ) so has the petroleum interests usurped the term “natural” gas.  Okay, I’m going to talk about flatulence, but only for a short time, just to get it out of my system ( get it?  Get it out of my system? ).  The current wife, while with her first husband, was absolutely forbidden to fart.  Hubby was a pot smoking part time musician, and not very good part time father as I ended up supporting the child for many years, the epitome of a hippie I would imagine, but in that one thing he was a bit old fashion and uptight.  Back when men were men, it was unseemly for women to share their body functions.  I mean, I can pretty much agree with that.  But come on!  Farting?  Farting not only makes you feel better ( unless it is a wet one in which case you get all embarrassed ), it is a fun game.  Such as Hot Boxing, when you pull the sheets over the wife’s head and rip a stinker.  This is where the male has the advantage, what with upper body strength and a life time of experience farting as desired.  And, barely related except for being a body function, I can’t believe I forgot to share a work experience with you.
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Most of our regular bums here at the soup kitchen/laundry facility are up in years.  Not a lot of youngsters.  Naturally, it follows that they have an above average number of medical problems.  Now add in alcohol abuse and abusing their bodies by living outside, etc., and it is a relatively normal occurrence that the ambulance shows up here for an emergency.  The other week, one of the guys passes out.  Someone calls the meat wagon.  Before it got here, the guy is now laying in a puddle of his own urine.  Which is bad enough because no matter how drunk you get, no one is going to let you forget you pissed yourself.  But it gets a lot worse.  As the poor bastard is passed out in his own piss, a dog walks up and starts humping his arm.  You can’t make this stuff up.  I was laughing so hard I almost pissed myself.  God, sometimes this job is pricelessly entertaining.  But, to get back to natural gas.  I was reading Zero Hedge and got the following site:
I tried finding the link to its article on the geopolitics of oil and natural gas but I’m not having much luck in my limited time.  Anyway, it was talking about how a lot of recent events have the underlying need for control for natural gas pipelines.  Nothing new here, that was one reason why we invaded Afghanistan ( of course, the primary was poppy supply ).  But it was well written and very up to date, to include the recent Syria issue. 
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As I was reading, I found it curious as to why we put so much effort and military resources and treasure into securing pipelines we have little use for.  For the most part, you can’t liquefy and transport the bulk of any gas supply ( which is one reason the Canadian tar sands are more economical than they should be- the gas is there unused, so better to turn it into pseudo-oil ).  Why are we killing troops to secure a pipe that benefits Europe?  The article goes into countering Russia and its monopoly on European gas, but that can’t be the whole picture ( another part of the picture is denying our enemies- that is pretty much everybody in the Big Picture- the resources even if it doesn’t directly benefit us ).  I think I might have a partial answer, but of course it is a wild guess and I could be way off.  If natural gas is taking over in importance compared to oil ( speaking economically and militarily here ), oil which is much easier to transport and to secure in transport, why would this be?  It isn’t because natural gas burns cleaner, the semi-official answer from the same people trying to introduce carbon tax under the guise of saving Gaia.  The folks in change don’t care about pollution ( witness the Japanese radiation and the BP spill ).
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A few years back, half of all our artificial fertilizer facilities folded up shop domestically and moved overseas.  This was during a huge spike in our own gas prices.  And since most of our fertilizer now comes from the middle east and like areas rich in gas, we can take advantage of cheaper means for growing food.  Now, I understand this doesn’t factor in everything, and there are a lot of unanswered questions here.  But since the fertilizer plants haven’t come back after frac gas came online, I can only conclude they are gone for good.  For whatever reason.  So, our pipeline control is far more critical than before.  We now have placed the growing of our food at the mercy of foreigners.  Natural gas IS food in today’s mechanized centralized soil depleted, overpopulated globe feeding agricultural sector.  Natural gas is fertilizer, so pipeline control is food.
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Natural gas is also nitrates for munitions.  With these two sectors able to easily be disrupted by any enemy, I can only conclude that NO ONE IS IN CHANGE, other than bankers who only look at the bottom line ( bankers loan to both government and business, so they are ultimately in charge ), as far as strategic planning.  If ever there was a time when foreigners bought the rope to hang the capitalists, this is it.  Ah, fun stuff.  Almost as fun as farting.
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2 comments:

  1. A wise man once said "You know you're getting old when farts aren't funny"

    Loyal Minion

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  2. I feel bad for the guy passed out who pissed his pants but it reminded me of a couple of funny stories an old timer sheriff from my county once told.

    One was about a guy who would piss his pants while standing at the bar of a small-town dive tavern. The owner needed his patronage but couldn't put up with a piss puddle on the floor continually. He solved the problem by having the guy stand inside a galvanized metal trash can!

    The other is a quote for anybody who thinks they have ever been really 'bombed': "You've never really been drunk until you've shit your pants". Can't argue with that.

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