Tuesday, October 30, 2012

sandy in my crack

SANDY IN MY CRACK
I wasn’t going to write about Hurricane Sandy, seeing as how mostly it was just Gott Damn Yankee Yuppie Scum who were going to die horrible elongated deaths.  Sure, sure, blah blah, tragic anyone dies, boo hoo, feel bad.  But if people are going to die, and I’ve got a disturbing bit of news for you, we ALL die, I can’t find myself too shook up if it happens to be New Yorkers.  In the grand scheme of things, on a Darwinist evolutionary scale kind of thing, New Yorkers have got to be some of the dumbest creatures on Earth.  First off, they went through forty years of being target number five out of five thousand.  I mean, how many nukes did they think were targeted at them?  Even without consulting the FedGov, you could probably guess dozens of warheads.  Your survival chances of living through a thermonuclear war had to be worse than zero.  And even back in the fifties or sixties, something like seven million fellow idiots populated your burg.  What person in his right mind lives in that kind of rat colony?  Next up, New York seems to be guided on a divine level.  They always get plenty of warning.  The Twin Towers were targeted for terrorism years before 9/11.  As far as flooding, didn’t they just get done with that hurricane a bit ago?  They panicked beyond all comprehension, then a few inches of rain pooled around the low areas.  Point being, the fools had “disaster lights” happen to them as a prior warning.  There should have been no surprise when the real thing happened ( I’m not sure if this is going to qualify as a real hurricane, but certainly it is worse this time around ).
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New Yorkers get plenty of warning, then ignore it, then sound like a violated little bitch the first day of prison, acting like they had no idea large gentlemen of ethnically diverse backgrounds would take his anal virginity ( and speaking of which, beware the fallacy of old age saving you.  At one time I was congratulating myself on achieving middle age, content that should I be railroaded into prison for a political crime such as calling the House Negro In Chief a Muslim or an illegal alien, I at least would now possess a bunghole loosened with age and so having little attraction to Bubba.  Well, my bubble was burst when a client at the food bank, either well informed or speaking from experience, cautioned me that the prisoners solution to this was to kick in the front teeth of the old guy, who could then be forced to gratify others orally without any danger he might chomp down and bite off any important organs )  when the same damn disaster happens again.  You complete and utter dumbass.  New Yorkers act like they own the friggin planet, but they are in fact mere hothouse flowers, susceptible to the slightest drop in perfect growing conditions.
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Anyway, even outside of the issue of complete retards wrapped in morons surrounded by a layer of idiots who live in New York, I still could care less about the hurricane because it was just that.  A mere hurricane.  I worried more about tornadoes, since the wind was so much more concentrated.  But not so concerned that I didn’t live in tornado country in a mobile home.  But a hurricane?  Come on!  I pedal home in winds almost as bad sometimes ( the wind gusts here suck ).  A hurricane is winds and some rain.  Why does everyone get their panties in a bunch?  Now, I do like Ure’s ( urban survival web site ) ponderings here.  He was wondering if this is going to be an excuse to postpone elections, hide economic bad news, whatever.  That might be a little too paranoid, although fun if it happened.  But let’s ask a simple question.  Even if the markets were suspended on purpose for reasons other than weather, what would it matter?  The stock market doesn’t measure economic activity anymore, and most likely it is rigged.  So why even bother suspending it, or for that matter worry if “trading” isn’t happening?  As far as the election, why worry?  Both candidates stand for the exact same thing ( business as usual ).  Would it really make a bit of difference if Obammy stayed in for life?  I wouldn’t be opposed just on the principle since he’d be assured of being the Titanic captain for sure, thus capturing the title of All American Scum Bag Of All Time.
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And next, god help us all, we are going to have to read all about all the good little suburban survivalists out there who think they actually survived the apocalypse instead of a simple week without electric and a few puddles on the ground.  Oh, look at me!  I’m a super stud survivalist, my grand deluxe French fry grease diesel generator throbbing in a sexually stimulating manner 24/7 as I guarded it and my cases of MRE’s with my testicle clenching  grand old plastic carbine AR-15 with attached bayonet, laser dot site and by gum side by side attached fifty round magazines!!  I shall persevere!  I shall overcome!!  I shall rule the nuclear wasteland!!!!  Humping conceited jackasses, your third grade educated great grandfather with a single shot 12 gauge and box full of candles was more of a studmuffin seven days of the week, any week of the year.  Your over equipped pansy pussy soft marshmallow ass  piece of Yuppie Scum with your women’s libber ball busting testicle pickling wife and SUV full of wheezing asthmatic butter ball kids, if a real emergency ever came along you would be the one with no front teeth, that plastic toy gun shoved up your loose floppy ass.  Baby Jesus save me from the legions of idiots masquerading as humans with actual brains.
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8 comments:

  1. you so funny dakin. getting all worked up about shit that doesn't concern you. lol

    have you ever thought about getting professional help from a SHRINK?

    you really like the prison rape thing don't you. you're always talking about butt sex. anal this. anal that. maybe you're gay. you act gay.


    General Zaragoza

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    1. Here I am, trying to help a brother out in case he doesn't want to lose his teeth. And this is the thanks I get. Unless of course you lost them to meth already...

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  2. Would you please stop with all of the social pleasantries, and simply tell us what you really think? Please... don't hold back.

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  3. Personally, I love the post-storm stories about how horrifying it was to not be able to vacuum the carpet with the electric vaccuum cleaner and having to drink bottled water with some bleach to disinfect it instead of right out of the tap. Most camping trips are more challenging than the "prepper storm stories" on the daily survivalist blogs. I think they are a hoot.

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  4. Nice to know that someone besides me thinks that New Yorkers suck !
    Cat 1, hell we barely notice around here. Of course when main street is only maybe three feet above sea level and your subways are all below sea level, what ya thinks gonna happen ?
    Bastards have pretty near ruined Floriduh, immigrating down here bringing all those weird ass customs , rules and regulations with em. Not to mention their greasy assed new york style pizza. You could power a diesel engine for a week on one slice of that putrid crap.

    Rave on James...

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  5. You stated my own thoughts on this subject....maybe with a bit more color than I would used. I'm fearing the nasty weather may cause more of the idiots to move down here.

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  6. And their baseball teams suck too! Suck it Yankees, you and your damn Designated Hitter!

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  7. We survived the rain drops and the gusts of wind.. I even went over and cut up a branch that fell on my friends grandma's lawn. Ooo so scary. If I could get out of here, I'd be out there somewhere near you. I feel like a over-prepared genius living here with my high-school and edjumacation. And let's face it, I'm not that great.

    -DSM

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