Friday, October 26, 2012

fiddlin, mr. brown

I always try to give the devil his due, and Mr. Brown from the comments section did inspire today’s article so we should give him a shout out.  Mr. Brown, although you are a rude little prick, and I probably mean that literally ( I can almost hear your love interest enquiring “is it in yet?” or “did you start?”.  Unless your love interest is the blow up doll, in which case we know why she has that look on her face.  And if a two dimensional look can say “inadequate”, hers is certainly it ), what with the yelling and all, that doesn’t mean you don’t have anything pertinent to say.  It just means you have no social graces and annoy those around you, even if you don’t mean to.  But, hey, I don’t always please those around me when I fail to use enough tact, so far be it from me to throw any stones in that glass house.  You see, Mr. Brown, and I’ll call you that even though it is clearly a pseudonym and your real name is something Sydney Snodgrass or some such, yesterday’s article was clearly about nothing important.  In the big picture, I could care less that some little punk ass bitch grows up to be a worthless mouth breathing oxygen waster.  The world is already chock full of them, both of us included.  The article was merely one of yet another “fiddling while Rome burns” rant. 
In case you’ll missed out on the developments this last year ( well, not quite a year.  Since the beginning of this calendar year ), I’ve clearly slipped and slid into a “don’t give a crap mode”.  I stopped publishing the Bison Survival Blog ( still online, for you new folks ) because I’ve pretty much said it all, I wasn’t going to win over any new readers, those I had weren’t going to change their minds after years of pleading, and while the money was great ( $300 a month from 1500 readers, with no advertisers save Google which doesn’t count as far as influencing my editorial standards ) it simply wasn’t going to matter very much longer.  Rome has already started to burn.  I have perhaps helped out a few people, allowing them to prep faster and better and cheaper.  And I felt good about producing a fine hunk of writing.  But anymore, today, we are just spinning our wheels.  Marking time to the Apocalypse.  If your crap ain’t squared away, it still can be if you take the necessary steps.  But I don’t see what I can say that will change your mind.  For as little as $100 down payment of junk land, you can free yourself quite soon from the landlord and the bankers.  $300 buys you a lifetime of very careful shooting.  It still doesn’t cost much over $100 per year of wheat kernels, before the container cost.  But if you don’t want to these things, how can I possibly change your attitude?
I won’t blow sunshine up anyone’s ass, pretending that solace in the arms of Baby Jesus is any protection.  Pretending that the oil could never possibly run out ( frac oil is great.  That and tar sands and etc. have enabled the globe to continue producing as much liquid fuel as before.  Of course, the liquid contains less net energy, and the worlds population continues to grow.  So in effect less energy is available.  But we’ve still bought some extra time ) is not how I’ll sooth all your anxieties and enable you to support me in high style.  It is all coming apart, and aside from the immediate need for money, long term cash is worthless.  So is a business based on the Internet.  I might reach a potential convert to frugal survivalism now and again, but in essence all I’m doing anymore is just playing that fiddle.  It is like we are a man on death row.  You can listen to a lawyer pretending he can get you a reprieve, in exchange for all the money your family has, or you can retain some dignity and just wile away the time until your execution playing solitaire and reading books.  That is what I’ve chosen to do, try to go out with a little dignity while wasting my time left.
Writing another book on the preferred guns for the Apocalypse is indeed a time waster.  I’m merely trying to help all of us pass the time.  I used to hate readers who just used me for entertainment, like some cheap two dollar whore, but I get it now.  Let’s enjoy the spectacle of the rest of the world looking around in wide eyed comical bewilderment, unable to fathom the reasons for their own demise.  Writing about the Pomegranate Boy is mere entertainment.  A time frittering.  I’m certainly not saying our time isn’t precious and nonrefundable.  I’m just saying that sometimes you can’t run faster on the gerbil wheel, it won’t accomplish anything.  Sometimes it is better to sit on the porch, sip a cup of coffee, and watch the show.  Sometimes time itself needs to be let go.  I’ll still try to put out a bit of relevant blather now and then, but take the rest of my writing in context.  Just keeping ourselves occupied.
A wee bit short today.  It's a holiday at work ( Nevada Day, when we became a state, as if the price of admission was worth it ) so I did a quick donation pick up, wrote this slop, and I'm going home now.  Enjoy your weekend, minions.
NEW Bison Blog CD For Sale
I've got an actual professional to achieve and format all the old blog on a CD-ROM.   It turned out really nice- much nicer to read than online. It does cost $10 plus shipping, figure another $4 or so, which might be a bit on the higher side.  But I think I'm worth it.  My cut will be about $5.  That isn't too much to ask for over five years of work and nearly two million words of pure brilliance.  Here is the link to order:
Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon graphics above and to the right of each article.  You can purchase anything, not just the linked item.  Enter Amazon through my item link and then go to whatever other item you desire.  As long as you don’t leave Amazon until after the order is placed, I get credit for your purchase.  Thank you.
Amazon "Frugal Survivalist" for those who can’t access the graphic links.
My books available at
By the by, all my writing is copyrighted.  For the obtuse out there.



  1. I can't believe you wasted any of your own O2 ranting on "Mr. Brown"... He hardly rises to the level of being worth noticing.

  2. Have you read "Holding Your Ground" by Joe Nobody? Not even close to your info but a few goods. Ok, one, mousetrap trip wires with instructions. I did not know before,Lake Erie Pirate

  3. Instead of waiting for an insulting comment to appear to give you the day's inspiration, why don't you start writing them yourself?

    Some might decry that, but I say that's why you're the mighty Lord Bison and we're worthless minions.

    PS: Suggest a plastic carbine enema next time.

  4. dakin let his monkey write a post again

  5. Take heart, Jim!

    I think Mr. Brown has almost done you a favor... As is so often the case, your critics fall into two categories: they do not criticise your writing and they take themselves oh-so seriously. At the risk of sounding pretentious, those are the very reasons I read your blog! For all your bluster, I don't think you have a vain bone in your body...except as to your writing - you make a conscious effort to write well - and it shows. You specifically said that you would write about any darn thing that took your fancy.

    What I also find refreshing is your willingness to admit weakness/mistakes. The older I get, the more I think that stupid people are more likely to take themselves seriously, rather than intelligent people. You and the Mohave Rat (mohaveratstwocentsworth) are worth a read in that you both try to write well, are funny, and come across as two very human people.

    Neither of you drink anymore...but I could imagine having a drink with you would be very enjoyable!

    As to Mr. Brown, what do we know of him? Nothing. I'm assuming though (in my vast arrogance) that he's young, angry at the world, angry at himself...and doesn't have a girlfriend!
    Sir, correct me if I'm wrong...and - while you're at it, take a shot at Jim's writing. I'd be interested in why you think it's no good!

    No Jim, you just keep plodding away. People who see the absurdities in life and can grin at them, are fun to be around. I'm convinced that our descendants will shake their heads at us, running up our debts. Where I live - Germany, there's talk of a balanced budget soon - perhaps. This though, then just leaves Germany public debt of (if I understood it correctly) two thousand billion far as I'm concerned, Germany is nothing more than better functioning Greece. The ship is sinking for all of us and I'd rather be listening to you Jim, than your critics!

    1. ah the vaterland

      that explains the boot licking.

      oh jim! your farts smell like roses! i love you!

      you would make a good dog.

    2. I won't call you an ass. An ass has purpose.

      Oh, wait you'll have a purpose as well, as fertilizer post-apocalypse...

  6. It's just hilarious reading the fools troll on Jim when he provides us with information (and entertainment) for practically nothing.
    Keep up your nonsense, fools, while I continue prepping. You'll fit nicely into my stewpot. I won't eat your stinky brown ass but you'll feed my dogs nicely. Have a great day, troll. Jim, thank you and keep up the great work.