Friday, October 19, 2012

ain't no waltons

AIN’T NO WALTONS
Today, let’s discuss the absolute nightmare of the American Way Of Life being replaced by the multi-generational household.  It isn’t going to be like The Walton’s, more like Roommates/Landlords From Hell.  But first, just in case I can’t bloat that simple concept into the standard one thousand word article, I’ll blather a bit on an idea I hatched ( and you know where things are hatched from ).  I’ve been thinking, ever since I read that suburban survivalist book and the novel Bugging Out To Nowhere, that Create Space books seem to be a lot cheaper to print and ship out a lot quicker.  Much improvement over my old book seller Lulu Press.  Lulu used to be about the only game in town, but I see no reason not to slowly ease on over to CreateSpace and Amazon Kindle ( anyone can download software to view Kindle books on their desktop, so it is just as good a platform as Adobe PDF is ).  Of course, the primary motivation is I’d like to start publishing booklets again.  I was thinking about apocalypse guns ( tentative title “Apocalypse Gun Porn” ) and a second updated edition of Frugal Survivalist.  However, I have neither the panel production to write every night after dark nor the desire to ignore the wife as I write after work ( we only get three hours together a night as it is.  Yes, we argue a lot and drive each other crazy, but ignoring each other makes things worse ).  So, what I was thinking, and please sound off if you hate the idea, I’ll write three days a week at lunch, publishing each chapter on the blog.  On the weekend I’ll write the other parts.  Two weekdays I’ll write articles on whatever I fancy ( example, Monday is Book section #1, Tuesday and Wednesday #2 and #3, Thursday is Drivel Subject, Friday is Crap Article ).  I don’t want to lose any of my blog readers/loyal minions if I do this, so please comment if that is a danger.
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The economy being what it is, there is a very real danger that soon, very soon, families are going to have to double up.  Mom and dad might be forced to move in with the kid’s family as they go bankrupt from medical bills ( we all know that insurance companies only make money by NOT paying a red cent, even if the contract specifically states they will.  Think of a roomful of demons inhabiting the bodies of humans who are/were lawyers and you can imagine a board meeting at any insurance company.  Yes, eventually you can add them to the Lamppost List, but that will be small comfort as you forego independence and are forced into debt serfdom ).  Or, kids, having to pay thirty grand in college tuition for a career that no longer exists outside of Beijing, are forced to rent out a room from you and can never leave.  Kids moving back is tragic enough, after getting a hint of adulthood being forced back into a subservient role of the child.  But parents being forced to give up all that they have and subjugating themselves to a child and in-laws is far worse.   Let’s walk through a plausible scenario.
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You are working like a mule and suddenly you have a heart attack ( we all know it is from the wife nagging, but we all pretend it is stress from work ).  Now your whole life is devoted to working for a substandard, perhaps unhealthy, diet, praying to Baby Jesus that your house doesn’t fall apart because ALL maintenance is forever deferred, driving a gas hog old vehicle and pretty much the majority of your paycheck going towards the hospital bill.  If for whatever reason you can’t declare bankruptcy, you are screwed until the day you die ( and a casket is a financial burden.  You might just have the spouse throw your corpse into the vehicle and light it on fire to save on this final bill ).  Perhaps the day comes your only option is to chuck the cars, the mobile and land mortgage, the insurances, everything, and move in with one of your kids and pay rent out of your pension.  That is the only way to eat better and stop the insane stress.  Ah, but the price!  No more land to garden, no more preps due to lack of space, no beloved pets because of the grandkids allergies.  No more independence.  And groveling like a tenant.  Because eventually the party that pays the bills and gets the better paycheck makes the rules.  And a non-blood relative, such as your sons wife, whispers instructions in his ear about how SHE wants things done.  You, not being HER family, get the short end of the stick.  And you finish your life without hope, without happiness and without joy ( granted, the joy of family, but that only goes so far ).
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A three generation family that grew up that way is natural and easy to practice.  But that is because it evolved, and the chain of command, the responsibilities and the freedoms, were worked out before hand.  And it was the life everybody found natural and desirable.  But what I am talking about is unnatural because it isn’t what anybody grew up expecting or desiring.  It is an alien living arrangement.  Somebody must lose, rather than everyone winning.  It might have worked before, and it will work again once it becomes normal again, but trying to all live together again after the separate resident nuclear family is going to be nearly impossible.  It will cause actual mental conditions and abnormal frictions.  The only workaround is semi-attached dwellings, autonomous households.  Independence for everyone.  Back in the day, they used to take houses and permanently wall off sections to create an apartment type arrangement.  Then, each buyer had legal ownership, beholden to no other resident.  That is almost what you have to do to keep family peace.  Because any party forced to eat crow and kowtow is going to cause a family split.  Family is too important to force them into positions they start to hate each other over power and money.
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7 comments:

  1. If Granny or Gramps become too much of a fucking nag, they may get a midnight visit from the pillow fairy. Mmph! Mmph! Mmph! After 5 minutes of pillow therapy there is blessed silence. Forever.

    Hail Darwin

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  2. Indeed ain't no Waltons... Our oldest daughter has been living with us for the past 14 months. She is going mental, because all she can find is work at minimum wage leaving no possibility of ever having her own place again.
    I am still recuperating from an lower aorta replacement so am still to weak for real work. Most likely nothing out there anyway... Thankfully my wife is still working (also for minimum wage) Yup, this gradual decline is not life at the Walton farm here...
    At least we got the place out on the St. Johns when the time comes that we can't make ends meet here in the city. Got chickens and 2 1/2 acres lots of wildlife and a well. Bit salty but drinkable...Have to use rainwater for the garden tho. All from the kindness of another couple whom are looking forward like ourselves.

    Looking forward to see what your new writings will bring.

    Things are getting tight here, but we will survive ! Or not....

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  3. Lord Bison;

    That article was absolutely freaking fantastic! I'm so happy that you finally wrote about it in a coherent manner so even the most obtuse of us minions could understand. As it happens, already I'm carrying one adult child in his late twenties, and he resents me like the Hebrews resented the Pharaoh of Egypt. So I understand, of course he doesn't pay rent or anything else, he just works off all his expenses. Of course I reckon farm labor is a complete burden to anyone, who doesn't understand the necessity of self produced food. Anyway while resentment exists, at least he finally realizes that he's in the best spot in the world, if and when it all goes down, since his employer/parent will be the person who is not only feeding the family, but everyone else in the silly neighborhood, thus bringing security and stability to a situation that could spiral out of control. I'd adore the prospect of both sets of parents living with me, but since they're both boomers, I'll wager they'd both rather die first a horrible death, rather than admit that I was right all along. Stubbornness will kill many who can't remove their heads from their fourth point of contact. Keep keeping it real James!

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  4. Generally sheeple have two modes; Graze and Stampede.....but idiots have a third mode: Obstruct. They have an uncanny ability to get in the way of anything productive and stand there. Just stand there....doing something completely unrelated.

    http://surviveinthesuburbs.blogspot.com

    5/29/2012 entry

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  5. Very well done, master. A properly done multi-gen household is THE way to go; the important part being properly done. The article was great and right on the money. Can't speak for the rest of the gang but if you write it I'll read it. I have bought everything you've sold and will continue to as I feel a kinship. Would move to Elko but for the lack of trees and water. That could change. Also, as an aside, here in SC we use trees, not lampposts. Have for hundreds of years - yes, unfortunately many times on the wrong people but nonetheless they work very well.

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  6. Good post LB. Your loyal minions will always read your drivel.

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  7. "Onward! For the glory of Bisonia!"

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