Monday, September 10, 2012

guest article

My regular article this afternoon.  For now, to go along with Friday's article, a reprint of a guest article from early 2011 from the Bison Blog:

Beware the Final Banker and Tax Vulture Endgame

Or, in other words,

Get Debt Free or Die, Mofo!

Quietly Paranoid

The final banker endgame is coming closer. I predict that once
inflation or hyperinflation starts raging, banks holding fixed rate
mortgages will get their employees in CONgress to allow INVOLUNTARY
conversion of fixed rate mortgages to adjustable rate mortgages. Think
that cannot happen? The taxpayers assumed the bad debt of banks that
should have failed and bailed out companies (GM, Chrysler) that should
have failed, doubling the national debt virtually overnight. The
lapdog, infowhore media will spin this as "saving the banks, the
American homeowner, Mom and apple pie" The sheeple will get inflation
indexed mortgage payments for a longer term, probably FOREVER.

Here is one possible way this will work:

Most mortgages contain legal weasel words that allow the bank to call a
mortgage in an emergency. Calling a mortgage means the bank expects you
to pay off the balance TODAY.

Most homeowners do not have the ready cash to pay off their mortgage

So, when the bank calls your mortgage and begins threatening
foreclosure, you have two options: Say Fuggit and walk away, or,
refinance with an adjustable rate mortgage under their terms. Think
this is improbable Bunky?  One bank is already writing open ended,
adjustable rate mortgages in Australia, the homeowner can make minimal
payments and the mortgage is NEVER paid off.  Welcome to the world of
cradle to grave debt slavery!

The moral of this story is, pay your mortgage off or be prepared to
walk away from the property and live in a tent or RV. One of my
relatives lived in a tent for 4 years and made out OK.  Apparently,
living in a tent did not affect his sperm count because he was my
Grandfather and had five kids.

The Property Tax Vulture Scam

I live in a corrupt East Coast shithole and here is a scam the local
government is running. This scam WILL be coming to all towns as it is
VERY profitable for the local government.

Step one - Triple property taxes so many poor and elderly homeowners
cannot pay.

Step two - Sell the overdue property tax bill to private investor
vultures who pay the taxes and charge the homeowner 16 percent interest
on the unpaid balance.

Step three - Some homeowners simply cannot pay the property tax plus
loan shark interest so the investor takes your house after a short
waiting period!  They can do this even if the house is paid off. If the
house is mortgaged, the banker will pay the property tax to avoid
losing the house and begin foreclosure proceedings.

Who benefits from this scam?

The township gets triple the normal property tax and the investor
vultures get 16 percent interest and may get to steal your home for
back taxes if you cannot pay.

Who gets fucked? Anyone who owns property in East Shithole Maryland.

The moral of this story is the same, pay your property taxes or be
prepared to “go camping” in a tent or RV.

The Revenge of the Pissed Off Homeowner!

If you are going to lose your house anyway, there are things you can do
to keep the vultures from profiting too much from your misfortune.
Metal scrap yards are paying premium prices for any metal, especially
aluminum, copper wire and piping.  What if “persons unknown” ripped
every bit of wiring, piping, appliances, furnace, air conditioner,
metal window frames, gutters and downspouts, and ducting out of the
house and sold it to a scrap yard? I have seen abandoned houses that
were attacked by metal scavengers and the damage is unreal. A lot of
metal scavengers are drug addicts out for a quick dollar, they care
about nothing but the next dose of brain eradicator. Some metal
scavengers use a pickup truck mounted winch to yank the copper piping
out of the walls, destroying the wall in the process.

If questioned, you can say “The house was fine when I left it and
mailed the keys to the bank via certified mail. This is the bank's
fault for not securing the property ”

I worked a brief gig securing and winterizing foreclosed houses and
this kind of damage is TYPICAL. There are so many houses and the banks
will only pay the minimum to the foreclosed property contractor. The
banks would rather pay a minimum wage flunky who does not care about
securing and protecting the property.  In one case, I cleaned a
palatial home that had been built by a rich builder. Every door in this
palace was a hand carved wooden work of art. The doors, mantle pieces,
and wood trim looked like they were hand crafted by Jesus himself.  The
asshole bank did not want to buy heating oil so they let the house sit
all winter with no heat and a roof skylight open.  Rain pouring in the
open skylight turned the place into a gigantic mold pit and every door
warped badly. It was impossible to close any door in the place due to
moisture induced warpage and every bit of wood was covered in mold. The
bank does not give a Fuck, as they will go after you in court for any
extra money to cover the debt. The problem is, an unemployed guy living
in a tent or RV is not collectable.  What are they going to do,
repossess your tent? How could they even find you living in the woods?

Lastly, some folks have advocated torching the house to deny the
“enemy” any gain from your misfortune. I am very opposed to arson for
two reasons. Arson is a heavy duty crime that gets the maximum
investigation. YOU WILL GET CAUGHT . Secondly, I have firefighters in
my family. I am a mean, cynical, Darwinian prick. Even I have to admire
someone who goes into a burning house to rescue a total stranger.  I
would assume the asshole got drunk and fell asleep smoking crack and
thus deserved to die in flames.

Hail Darwin


  1. A few weeks ago you wrote at great unsolicited length on the subject of disposable razors. I have a method I use to extend the life of my disposable razors that I thought I would pass on.

    Take your razor and place it on a bare patch of skin, and run it backwards (not the cutting way) across the bare skin for about twenty-five strokes. I use either the underside of my forearm or the bald spot on top of my head for this purpose. But I fully realize that you, in all your holy hairiness and hirsute glory may have to make other shifts. Possibly, you could have a designated minion stand in as your honorary Blade Honer. By the way, "The Blade Honer" would make a great title for a survivalist blog or an apocalyptic, fictional novel.

    Honing the blades on your disposable razor will render them sharper, as well as extend their useful life.

  2. A pant leg (with your leg still in it preferably)works well for this too. Douse with rubbing alcohol and dry. Keeping it dry between shaves does wonders for blades too.

  3. Awesome Idea ! Who would have thought your skin or pants leg would sharpen a razor. I have several hundred disposable razors. This trick should at least double the lifespan. Hail Darwin

  4. While you have family members in the public Fire Service, I and a bunch of pissed off former homeowners do not, therefore it only makes sense, to screw the bank that screws you and yours to the point that photos of facial profiles of bank leadership are freely circulated all over the internet, then you know who the targets of your retribution are, thus act accordingly. I continually fail to understand why bankers are mean spirited to their customers, when it is the customers, that can and will determine their collective fate? Don't know about Maryland, but out West, the local LEO's keep dibs on who is selling scrap metal to which scrap merchants and vice versa, I see LEO surveillance constantly at the two scrap merchants that I travel by on the way to church. I guess that eastern Maryland isn't a complete police state yet?

  5. Burning the house down is a bad idea as it makes it easy for the bank; the insurance company sends them a check. Stripping it makes much more sense even if the ins co ends up paying as the bank still has to dick with it. New homes are so airtight that if you do decide to torch it make sure to open some windows...