Monday, August 6, 2012

food bank x-events

FOOD BANK X-EVENTS
This weekend I applied my unique set of carpentry skills to building more of the pit.  And promptly beat the crap out of my thumb with a hammer.  I still can’t bend the thing and it is swollen to twice its regular size.  Luckily of course it was my left thumb, so I can still type and eat and wipe my butt and all the rest with my right hand.  I tried holding a nail with other fingers but several hours after smashing the bitch I had to give up on any more building.  I was getting shaky and even a bit nauseous.  So, Saturday noonish was it for Bob The Builder activity and I started to get caught up on my reading which I haven’t done much of in the last few weeks.  I read “Soft Apocalypse” which wasn’t bad at all but not a post-apoc novel.  It was a dystopia novel with the end slightly veering into a more systematic collapse but then promptly ending in a “cozy” ( the term reintroduced by Black Cat Dude [http://reflexionesfinales.blogspot.com/ ] meaning a happy ending to placate the soft and gooey book buyer who uses the apocalypse as you would a horror movie, cheap titillation ).  Sorry, I can’t buy into the Super Deluxe Ninja Bamboo growing like Jack’s beanstalk or the entire story revolving around our hero finding his one true love ( presumably, a good lay will suffice when you are almost killed every other day ).  But for all that, not a badly written novel at all.  I’d recommend it, but don’t expect doom and gloom.  The other book, on the other hand, blew bloody chunks.
*
“X-Events” by John Casti totally sucked monkey reproductive member.  I was easily excited by the prospect of this book and paid good cash money for it ( well, okay, technically you all paid for it by buying through my Amazon links.  That almost makes this your fault ).  And after the first seventy or eighty pages I’m starting to wonder if this drivel wasn’t written by his unpaid nephew still in fifth grade, the first draft in crayon.  The writing style was tortured and unnatural.  Which I could understand if this guy spent all of his time Thinking Really Wise Thoughts and couldn’t be bothered practicing a more pleasant style of prose.   But all he was doing was placating the bleating sheep.  Worse than a Gott Damn tree hugger.  If you would BUY more electric vehicles and BUY more florescent bulbs and then BUY more of my books printed on 50% post consumer recycled paper, why then we could all live happily ever after in an Earth friendly consumer paradise.  Friggin idiots.
*
So here is John-Boy, saying all is not well because of system over-complexity, and here is all the things that could go wrong, but after you read my vapid swill you can relax because it isn’t too bad and we can all live happily ever after.  His solution for overpopulation?  More education on birth control for the Little Brown People.  Oh, well, hell, why didn’t we think about that fifty years ago?  And oh my mother friggin god!  His chapter on Peak Oil was based on information at a minimum five years old and more probably eight years old.  In Peak Oil experience this is akin to basing your investment advice on the teachings of a broker using a ticker tape for stock updates.  We’ve had so much new data since 2005 on oil production and consumption that none of the old books are worth a crap if you are calculating the impact of depletion.  He is really, really, honest Injun worried about Peak Oil- in ten to thirty years!!!!  In thirty years we are all going to be dead from systematic meltdown ( us old codgers, or us old codgers in training such as myself, hope to be dead prior to that ), our bones bleached in the sun long after our flesh was picked clean for the stew pot, but old John says not to worry until then!  What a senile hack! 
*
Avoid this book at all cost.  If a rabid home invader puts a gun to your wives head, demands that you read this slop, definitely refuse to read it.  If  he threatens your kids, still refuse to read it ( if the wife is still of child bearing years and you can replace them.  Little Johnny looks like he’s going to turn into a serial killer anyway ).  This crap is nothing more than a band-aid covering real problems, posing as science but merely a placebo. 
*
I started thinking of my work and the ensuing drought in the nations bread basket.  In years long ago, we really only catered to homeless dudes.  Families were very rare.  Now, 97% ( I just made up that number.  Feel free to translate into “almost all” ) are families forced into Food Stamp range earnings through falling wages ( even in good old “perfect” Elko where the unemployment rate is “only” 8% ).  Before, much lower donation numbers were the norm.  Now, every swinging dingus is donating for the tax write off as their sales decline ( too many grocery stores out there ).  Which is great, because for six years our canned foods donations by private individuals has been dropping ( from twice yearly food drives ) pretty steadily.  Now, the canned goods are being replaced by perishables ( dairy, bakery, etc. ) from the grocery stores.  But, once the corn decline becomes serious, so do donations to food banks ( bad now, soon to get oh so much worse ).  Canned donations won’t go back up.  X amount of folks donate, and as prices climb the absolute number of cans falls ( they still spend as much or more, but it doesn’t buy as much ).  Perishables are comprised of, you guessed it, corn products.  And the only reason we get so much is because there is over production ( a full shelf increases sales in Uber-idiot management propaganda- they seem to forget that dwindling wallets are not impressed by pretty presentation ) right now.  Once corn and wheat and dairy are all either scarce or Warren Buffet price range, that should change.  Soon there won’t be much in the way of either canned foods or perishables.  Don’t rely on your local food bank.
END
NEW Bison Blog CD For Sale
I've got an actual professional to archieve and format all the old blog on a CD-ROM.  I haven't got a copy of it yet, but I'm thinking this thing will be better than sliced white bread.   It does cost $10 plus shipping, figure another $4 or so, which might be a bit on the higher side.  But I think I'm worth it.  Depending on how much the production company charges per copy, my cut will be about $5 to $6.  That isn't too much to ask for over five years of work and nearly two million words of pure brilliance.  Here is the link to order:
http://kunaki.com/sales.asp?PID=PX00KX7Z1I
*
Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon graphics above and to the right of each article.  Or, visit
http://bisonpress.com/affiliatebooks.html
You can purchase anything, not just the linked item.  Enter Amazon through my item link and then go to whatever other item you desire.  As long as you don’t leave Amazon until after the order is placed, I get credit for your purchase.  Thank you.
*
*
My books available at
*
By the by, all my writing is copyrighted.  For the obtuse out there.

3 comments:

  1. At the risk of being tiresome I'll tell you again. Congress made it illegal to grow industrial hemp.
    No need to use corn for ethanol.
    Says here we can use hemp for ethanol, food etc
    http://hemp-ethanol.blogspot.com/
    http://www.hempfood.com
    http://chanvre-info.ch/info/en/HEMP-SEED-THE-MOST-NUTRITIONALLY.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I still can’t bend the thing and it is swollen to twice its regular size".

    So what exactly was it you were aiming at? We know your cheap, but do yourself a favor and buy the meds. They worked for Tiger, I am sure they'll work for you. LOL.

    Wow, you have that many families in Elko needing food? I cannot remember if I mentioned this to you, but one the first books I (partially) reviewed, Michelle Widgen's But Not for Long has one of the main characters working at foodbank. And yes the donations become a problem. It is not an action story, and the ending is left open, but sounding a little upbeat, but if you can find a cheap copy, you might find it interesting in a slow sort of way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Still waiting for you to tell if you have ever run into Betty Neff,
    disgraced narco cop with the missing 5 kilos of coke.
    Claimed to be up in Elko opening up a child day care center. Figure without a Gov. pension she will have need of much of your company handouts.
    Ugly as Hell she is and will ask you many sly questions to find out all she can about you and your supplies.
    Sent you an e-mail 3 years ago telling you to watch out for her.
    Seen her or married her? LOL!

    ReplyDelete