WORLD ENDS TUESDAY NEXT
The title should have been, World Ends Tuesday Next And Recent Immigrants Crap A Bloody Stool Over American Free Capitalism Bald Face Lie, but that was too much to print twice. Once above and once when I posted it to Blogger. First, because I’ll make it short and sweet because it isn’t all about me, the immigrant piece. NPR, where you can always hear the waterfall of gushing tears over the downtrodden and oppressed and the slurping of tongues as any liberal ( read: Communist ) politician is given a good anal bath in an effort to secure funding, had a short blurb in which a recent Jamaican immigrant had a hair extension business that wasn’t-horror!- licensed. I love how her tragic plight was portrayed. She starts a business, supports herself and supposedly others in her family that are too busy smoking weed and going to Marley tribute concerts to get a job ( because, really! If those lazy slackers would just assume twenty grand in debt they could earn a degree and the jobs fairy would pull a wonderful paycheck out of her ass ). Then, someone told her she needed to be licensed ( read: a competitor narcked on her to get her shut down ). Boo-hoo! It was going to cost her five grand to go to school to get certified. News flash, freak. America ain’t much better than any other crap hole Third World country when it comes to greasing the palm of The Man. Here, it is just that you need to pay a lawyer to decipher hundreds of pages of legalese to decide who gets “fees, licenses, permissions”. We don’t call them bribes, otherwise the rubes pretending to make a difference by “voting” ( read: pulling a lever on a computer that has the outcome already programmed into it ) would think we were living in a dictatorship instead of a “Democracy” ( read: above section on computers. As an example of how we don’t even know what the concept means, the news reported Egyptian elections as the first democratic elections ever. Yet, the military still holds power and the Presidente post is largely honorary. Equivalent to the Queen in England. Morons ). Sorry you bought into the whole free market dream. I hope you can get by on your looks. And as an interesting side statistic, thirty years ago one in twenty workers needed a certification. Today it is one in three.
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Friday, I got notice from a buddy that a trailer was for sale cheap. Saturday I closed the deal on a $500 twenty five foot travel trailer. Not much is wrong with it other than the puddle of brains staining the carpet as it was a suicide sale. Nothing a razor knife and some bleach won’t fix ( and two pairs of gloves ). I’m pretty happy about the whole thing even though it is too big to fit into the pit. It will either be a guest house, a project trailer or a storage shed. I might even move into it next year since there will be a lot less space to heat, but that’s up in the air. Anyway, as I was wallowing in my good fortune I peddled home after laundry and stopped at the mailbox as per the usual routine. And there was a letter from my bestest buddies in the whole wide world, Florida Child Support Enforcement. I’m done, legally, finally. No more child support. And my next full paycheck is a week from tomorrow. This is your official notice of the world ending. I can’t see NOT getting screwed by all the gods, as their sense of humor runs towards humping with my mind.
To celebrate, I decided that we would go into town on Saturday and eat out. I went to rent a car, but they were out so I got an SUV for the same price. Sweet. I can almost see how folks would fall for its alluring call of luxury. That was one pimpin ride, yo. And it even got 23 miles per gallon in town. I splurged on a ten dollar steak plate and the wife on fried chicken ( yes, bitches, this is a “what I had for dinner last night” article ). After the wife gambled on fifteen bucks I called it a day. Even celebrating I can’t spend much past $125. Well, I did buy a DVD. I had wanted to watch “Animal House” again after about fifteen years. Is it me, or did they used to have a rated PG version as well as the R one? I swear I didn’t remember boobs when I saw it the first half dozen times. I could be remembering poorly after almost thirty years, but I remember the shower scene from “Stripes” as if it were yesterday and I haven’t seen that one in about twenty years.
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Well, that was all fun and games for Saturday. Then, I come into work today and there is another buddy trying to sell a beat to crap cab over trailer. He hauled it away as a favor to a neighbor ( the thing has interior wall leaks and the cab over part is falling forwards ) and wants it off his work trailer. So I got it for a hundred bucks. Folks, this worries the heck out of me. I’m getting too many instances of good luck thrown my way. When does the other shoe drop? Granted, I had been due Florida releasing my obligation last month. I look at it as good news they didn’t screw me more. And, coming into bargains naturally follows starting to socialize and networking. But I’m also always leery of good fortune. I’m telling you, the world ends Tuesday next.
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