Monday, April 23, 2012

mushrooms

MUSHROOMS
I hold a particular theory ( I hold a lot, this is just the current one I’m voicing ) that mankind took a huge evolutionary step backwards when he started eating mushrooms.  Actually, he took a HUGE leap back with agriculture in general ( we all would have been better off if instead of giving in to population and resource pressure and starting to farm we had been able to kill off the emerging proto-militaries of the day that held the strategic advantage because of the food surplus ) but I’m thinking that mushrooms were consumed far before we started farming.  Eating mushrooms that had certain toxins are one thing.  You start hallucinating and start communing with the Fire God and he turns you on to cooking your food and staying warm so you can migrate north.  You implement said change and suddenly you are everyone’s hero and you get the first choice of the new food source and cave bitches start flirting with you even though with that bone through your nose and your other shaman attire you look a bit odd.  Life is good when you have Magic Mushrooms.  But eating a regular mushroom for a food source?  What the hell were they thinking?  It’s friggin mold, dumbass!  What’s for desert?  Toe jam, fumunda cheese or dandruff?  How can a species that prides itself on a superior mental capacity look itself in the mirror every morning when they eat this kind of crap?  Tree bark would probably taste better and be more nutritious.  What, you say you like fungus?  Blame your mother.  Taste is passed through to the fetus during pregnancy.  You crave what your mother ate, in essence.  So, one day a half million years ago, some retard, probably the missing link between Neanderthal and today’s modern version we’ve all come to know and love, kicked a glob of crap out of a cave that had a growth on it and thought she should put it in her mouth ( you don’t know where that’s been! ) and she probably picked one that had mild hallucinatory properties so she was fooled into thinking that putrid swill tasted good, and passed on this evolutional dead end of a trait on to her offspring.  If we think we are so smart for having abolished slavery and enacted women’s suffrage, taken flight to the stars and harnessed the atom, why are we still eating feces spores? 
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While I was on vacation last week, I stopped by the retail outlet of Harbor Freight.  They have a few of them.  I think north of me at Twin Falls, Idaho for one.  But for years now I’ve wanted to visit the Carson City Nevada store.  They opened it after I had moved here to Elko and every vacation I want to visit.  Of course, vacation time is visiting time with the parental units.  I only drive into town if they are sleeping from a shift working graveyard.  Before, it never worked out.  Not that I cared.  I HATE and LOATH the concept of driving hundreds of miles to go shopping.  It would have just been an added benefit of visiting if I had made the store trip.  Well, this last time my mom needed to sleep during the day and as she needs complete quiet or she’ll wake up, my dad and me with the wife went into town to leave here alone.  We dropped off the wife at the casino ( give her tip money for three or four beers, a pack of smokes and fifteen bucks in nickel play and she can entertain herself for hours on end ) and went to the cities one used book store.  I had shopped there for years, as they had a humongous science fiction section.  All other used books in town were at thrift stores and sci-fi was a rarity.   Well, the regular old guy wasn’t there anymore.  I don’t know if the new bitch is his daughter or a new owner, but they were committing a huge and unforgivable sin.  Their books were full retail price!!!!!  Holy God Lord Baby Jesus On A Friggin Pogo Stick!!!!! Since I was a young teen I’ve shopped used book stores all over the country and they all follow a standard pricing scheme.  You pay half the cover price to purchase, and if you are trading in for credit you receive one quarter the cover price.  Obviously, stores have stayed in business for generations following this formula.  But not little miss whorebag!  Oh, no!  She had to have full cover price for a thirty year old book!  Now, granted, you did receive half price credit if you traded in.  But that isn’t the point.  Some of us hate giving up any book.  We just collect.  I actually wonder if she wasn’t a tree hugger.  That would explain the penalty for not recycling.  Not that we were wasting trees.  We were keeping the book, not throwing it away.  I think she was just being greedy.  Beware “Dog Eared Books” in Carson.
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Okay, we went to Harbor Freight.  It was smaller than I expected, but it still carried quite a bit.  I had two items in mind, a hoe and a file set.  They didn’t have a hoe, but I did get something like fifteen files for $10.  They claim a lifetime warrantee, although I have reservations on the quality.  But even if they are crap, it is an improvement on no files.  Not that I have any idea on the difference between a rasp and a file, but years back I did trash pick a book on sharpening.  I can learn one of these days.  The whole thing was, the store stunk.  Bad.  You know that weird smell from a lot of stuff from China? Almost something like mouth balls.  The whole store was literally suffocating from that smell.  I couldn’t breath in there, and I have zero respiratory problems.  Dad didn’t notice it, and the minimum wage drones seemed content.  I couldn’t stand being in there too long.  Is it just me?  How do people stay in there long enough to spend lots of money?  Is a fan too much to ask for?  One that sucks air out?  I’ll never set foot in another outlet of theirs.  Catalog/Internet shop?  Okay.  But not retail.
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9 comments:

  1. I ran into a "used" book store in Portland that was charging $7.00 for a used paperback. Pretty much the same scheme... thieves. Blasphemers of the book gods. May their cafe lattes turn to folgers instant.
    My visit to Horrible freight was discouraged by a really loud out of whack ballast. A torturous sound and yes the place stunk!

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    1. Pretty much everything seems to be moving to eBook these days. The Kindle saved Barnes & Noble, whilst Borders was not quyick enough to draw on this trend and are now extinct!

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  2. Thank Baby Jesus you didn't stay at Harbor Freight too long Lord Bison! Those chemical fumes may cause you to lose your hair, and we all know what that did for Sampson!

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  3. Mouth balls? Freudian much?

    Discover garage sales. You can get good Nicholson files all day. You can also do what I do, and just buy 'em new, USA-made, and take care of 'em and they last forever.

    I regret that it's been a dry winter and no nice delicious mushroom outbursts to harvest from a certain dead tree here, they are yummy! There were a couple small ones, too small to harvest and one from some other dead log, small and too late, dried up, to use. There are a lot of different mushrooms that crop up here, some of which I think are commercial-type white mushrooms spread over from some of the mushroom farms around here, but the only ones I eat are the grey oyster mushrooms that grow on wood. Those are delicious!

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  4. Traveling around the country, I've noticed higher prices on used books. Rarely full retail, but higher. There are a lot fewer brick and mortar used book stores though.

    What I hate is the fish smell from China goods.

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  5. Try alibris.com Jim.

    I've bought many a good, used book from them for the price of a few dollars. It's been a little while since I've ordered from them, but last I did, the shipping was still reasonable.

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  6. "Some of us hate giving up any book. We just collect".

    That is how I ended up with over 6,000 books! I've read maybe 20% of them, but it sure is great to always have a new read to pick from. All rooms should have at least one wall with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves built in.

    If people are paying so much for used books, then maybe you should open the James M Dakin bookstore.

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  7. A wall of books (tightly packed) has a certain R value and a bit of ballistic protection also. The value of books never stops.

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  8. Ok, I get that you don't like mushrooms, but they are fungi not mold. Mold is a different kind of fungi. And mushrooms contain selenium, B vitamins, and potassium. Not exactly no nutrition. But more importantly, what else do we get from fungi? Beer, wine, bread etc. Give up fungi if you want, but for me, I'm grateful that some starving ancestor had the guts to try something new.

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