Throughout the land there has been heard a chorus of promises, mostly uttered by those who benefit directly, that if only one would drag ones sorry tired carcass to a campus of higher learning, one would enter into a bright shiny future of insanely higher wages, willing and bosomy wives ( or, in the case of the female going for Ethnicity Education or Physical Education, willing and bosomy wives ), and job security that puts Jimmy Hoffa’s Teamsters to shame. Of course, the source should be directly questioned. The schools themselves, or the banks that make you the loan, alone benefit from your inability to distinguish between reality ( a lifetime of Top Ramen, public transportation and a part time crackhead whore girlfriend ) and fantasy ( the abovementioned Leave It To Beaver or Gordon Gecko work and life ). If you have already taken the Grape Kool-Aid of advanced education, too late. Life itself is the best university. You now have $50-$100 thousand in student aid that must be paid back, even if you are held in captivity by white slavery cartels from Mexico, have lost all limbs in a traffic accident or have been lobotomized by jack-booted thugs who renditioned you to a foreign medical ward after you told a Black Kenyan joke about the President. Although, as much as I feel for you, it is still no more of a burden than twenty years of child support which can be endured earning minimum wage ( of course, should you have child support, the ex-wives mortgage and a student loan to pay back, it might just be advisable to Suicide By Going Postal ).
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There are few promises today as far as careers that are believable. My best guess is that for a short period of time, before retail crashes far worse and far faster than the north east turned from world factory into Rust Belt, you at least have minimum wage as a job growth area. When I was a young lad, putting in my time at the local Education Penitentiary, or Re-Education Camp ( Youth Division ), I had nothing but dreams for the military. I hated school, so college was never an option for me ( step dad was more than willing to pay for it, but I had zero interest ). I wanted to put in twenty years killing communists and then retire. As a back-up plan, in case it didn’t work out, I planned on saving all my money and then opening a business. Well, the military sucked monkey testicles and I only saved a couple of months wages ( Loompanics Unlimited Booksellers Extraordinaire sucked up all my money at first, then it was 80% beer and 20% Loompanics ).
Not that the books were a waste, nor for that matter the beer. Overdoing the alcohol consumption, I was cured for life after that. So I’ve probably broken even long ago. And books are never a waste. But, had I saved all my money, it would have been down a black hole. I was only interested in one type of business and that was role playing games ( paper books, not computer games ). We all know what a whip and buggy business that ended up being. My point is, I drifted in retail management as an alternative to my earlier career choices. The sector was booming and carried me along for twenty years before it crashed into the wreckage of the Housing Bubble. And now I embrace minimum wage as my career path. And why not? It is a booming business. Probably the only one. If you don’t own a car or pay rent, minimum wage is a bloody fortune. Enjoy it while you can.
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