Monday, March 5, 2012

smoke up our ass

SMOKE UP OUR ASS
Today we are going to put forth yet another one of my contrived wild ass theories that serve no purpose other than to amuse.  Of course, one day I’ll get one right just because the odds dictate it, and then a hush will descend upon the land, all minions eyes will widen comically and I shall then be acknowledged as a genius for all the ages.  And, why shouldn’t I titillate and amuse?  It is Friday ( you’ll be reading this come Monday morning ) and the end of a tedious week and I’ve worked far too hard and the weekend looks glorious ( finally, the prospects are good that it will be a sunny weekend rather than a cold overcast miserable one- I’ll bet you bitches in tornado country wish your weather was a bit more winter like ).  Let’s have fun.
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It has been a bit difficult to decide what to make of the recent theatre involving Iran and embargos and threats of attack over nuclear fuel.  Look, this is hardly new.  Bush The Shrub was making noises about bombing Iran.  If the evil Muslim dudes haven’t made a bomb in six or seven years, are they ever going to get around to it?  I call serious BS on the Iranian threat.  And it can’t just be to keep our military industrial complex running.  Afghanistan will see the need for continued astronomical spending into the far future, if we need an excuse.  We didn’t have to pull out of Iraq if all there was to the equation was defense spending.  I contend that we got out of that war because we are dead ass broke and can’t afford it anymore, despite their supposed oil supply ( supposed because they have been pumping for about seventy or eighty years and, as with Iran or Syria, you have to wonder how much is left ).  Okay, I think the Iraqi War was all about the oil, but I’ll freely admit there is a possibility I was wrong.  If I’m right, we would still be there rather than Afghanistan ( so maybe, as per M. Ruppert, it was about the drug trade- the terrorism angle was for the sheeple, the oil angle was for the tinfoil hatters and the drugs were for the bankers profits ).  Along with the supposed threat of Iran ( OOOOHHHH!!!!! The humanity- some one else besides thirty friggin other countries might get The Bomb! ), there is a lot of stupid noise over Syria.  Hello!?!  Anyone home?  Syria has been killing off protesters and other tribal groups forever.  Why suddenly is it an issue? 
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So, given the seemingly obvious nature of these two bogus problems, given that obviously Obammy is wrapping his huge floppy lips around our rectal opening and blowing smoke up our ass, what could possibly be going on?  My current theory is that this is all theatre to mask a decline in our energy supplies.  I know, I know, you all get tired of me talking about Peak Oil.  It’s okay for world wars to be fought to control oil, but anytime I bring up how central oil is to our economy and our survival you get all butt hurt.  Hey, you silly bastards all knew how one sided I am about this, and you followed me over to this new blog anyway.  So, really, who is to blame here?  Look, gasoline consumption is way down, and the price of oil is shooting up.  You can blame China, but that is another red herring.  We are using far more “fake oil” ( frac oil, tar sands, ethanol, etc. ) than ever before to keep supplies from contracting.  That crap costs more to get to market.  We are already seeing a decline in conventional, cheap, abundant oil.  What is left is the bottom of the barrel.  The Cheap Oil Age is long over with.  New reality is Dear Oil.  But our economy is built to run on one grade of fuel only, the kind that is running out.  So, there can be no recovery.  But the government doesn’t want to hear that kind of seditious talk.  Central Bank Uber Alles!  The one percent must not see their standard of living fall, by gum.  Poor bitches on welfare didn’t buy the vote for a Kenyan Yes Man, the bankers did.  They want their money back, with lots of interest.
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What better way to convince the general public that all is well, remain calm, do not panic the emergency is only temporary until I, The Great Obammy, smooth things over with Happy Talk And Smoke Up Ass Blowing, than to contrive a great conflict in the middle east that never happens?  Iran blames everything on The Great Satan ( that’s us, by the way, if your grasp on current events is marginal ), so we should blame everything on them.  Look, we promise gas will go back to two bucks a gallon.  Honest.  Oops, sorry about that.  Those evil Iranians are making rude hand gestures.  Suddenly, the Omniscient All knowing All Powerful Market is forcing oil prices up!!!  We had nothing to do with it, especially not Obammy The Magnificent!  We’re innocent here!  Everything is to be blamed, except the fact we are running out of a non-renewable resource.
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Last week Richard Heinberg had a great article over at The Energy Bulletin.  It was titled “$5 Gas=Long, Hot, Crazy Summer”.   In one section, for all you Frac Fags that think frac oil will solve all our ills, he points out that in some instances a frac oil well will deplete up to 90% in just one year of use.  Of course, the article is much more than just that, but I loved that part myself.  I wish I could share your wishful thinking that North Dakota was a new Saudi Arabia, but you would be better off putting your bet on room temperature fusion. 
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