Wednesday, March 7, 2012

bring the bacon

BRING THE BACON
Okay, my bad.  Thank you, minion, for posting that my comments weren't open to anonymous.  I didn't even realize that.  No wonder I wasn't getting that many comments.  It is now open to all to comment.  Sorry about that.
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Mmmnn!  Bacon!  The best part of a pig, Meat Candy, not much is as good outside of a big thick juicy steak.  The origin of the phrase “bringing home the bacon” is thought to go back about a thousand years when a prize for the most devoted couple was a side of bacon ( that might have been “most devout”, don’t quote me either way ).  I’m sure that bacon was just as tasty to medieval dudes as it is to us today.  Of course, that might have been because it was the only meat those folks ever saw while they sucked down their thin grain gruel, but who knows.  Anyway, besides the last horrid fifty years of the experiment of women’s lib ( okay, 100 years.  I imagine that one could make a solid case that the trajectory of women’s rights closely tracks that of our consumer economy and the creation of debt to feed the central bank ) for most of history men were tasked with bringing home the meat.  First as hunter gatherers and then as the primary bread winner.  I’m not saying that women didn’t work, because in fact they usually work just as hard except for recently when their privates were granted gold plated status by government degree, just that the sexes work differently.  Men perform the hard physical and dangerous tasks, like the trained monkeys that we are, and women do everything else.  And this is as it should be.  To each according to their abilities.  Marx added some drivel about needs but almost everybody ignored him.  Women were never chattel, that was just pure propaganda created by carpet lickers and their disciples.   Propaganda that would have won the National Socialist Party Reeducation Award.  Just remember that the two early advocates of women’s equality were Soviet Russian and Nazi Germany.  And today, I’m sure that the more radical elements of the creed are busy most of their week trying to create the next Workers Paradise with Obammy at its head.
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Now, women are just as cursed as men with their lot in life.  Men risk their lives protecting the village, and with helping to feed it.  Some gigantic bear starts marauding about, who goes after the bastard?  Princess Warrior bitches or a few undernourished guys with inadequate weapons?  And who gets to defend the village against attacking mutant zombie hordes?   Women are cursed with reproduction that tears up the body pretty good.  Menopause, the monthly curse when Aunt Flo visits, all that crap, women can keep.  I don’t envy them at all.  On top of all that, while men are cursed with an unquenchable sexual appetite that is only slightly modified downward after we reach an age where a heart attack threatens us every time we mount up, women still have it worse.  They are forever worried about how they look.  Why?  Not because evil corporations run by evil men force them to hate their bodies through unrealistic advertising ( as the early proponents of politically correct women’s lib were seriously trying to push as reality ) but because, literally, their appearance is what brought reproduction and security.  That was their meal ticket.  Except for a short period ending as we speak, when women could actually be totally independent as all muscle power was taken over by petroleum power, women must control and trick the powerful monkeys ( that’s us guys ) into doing their bidding.  We happily go along with it because not much is on our minds besides humping ( it really is a wonder we invented anything, unless it was in conjunction with impressing females ).  Let me tell you a little secret, butch dyke feminazi’s, you can do that a lot easier with a seductive feminine wink and suggestive smile as opposed to an ugly frowning demand backed up with government support.
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Now, so as to appear fair, throughout history guys have expected their choice females to look good for their mating pleasure.  And we didn’t really care how they did it.  Half starved, painful body alterations, whatever, we had no interest in the process.  We were only interested in the end results.  So, here is payback.  Come further along in the economic collapse, women are going to expect you, as the male, to revert to your traditional role as provider and bring home the bacon.  Period.  They aren’t interested in how you do it.  They will quickly forget all about female equality, as it suites them, and expect you to take care of them.  No jobs out there?  They don’t care.  The bitch wouldn’t budget in prep supplies?  She doesn’t care about those personal problems.  As the provider, it was your job to stockpile.  Not hers.  She found a way to get rid of all that baby fat, you should have found a way to get supplies put away.  And before you dismiss this as a non-problem ( “if the bitch don’t like it, she can hit the streets” ), consider that the odds are we won’t have an overnight collapse as in “asteroid hits D.C. and the fedgov vanishes”.  We will have a rapid collapse, but not an overnight, instant one ( probability, odds are ).  Your wife can make your life miserable if you don’t do as instructed.  Right now, using the kids as a financial weapon.  In a period of skyrocketing crime, she can hook up with another fellow who can hurt you/steal from you, etc.  After the collapse she can just have that fellow kill you. 
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Sure, I’m jealous.  I wish I could trade sex for food.  But the fact remains, you had better take the wife’s demands under consideration as a defensive measure if nothing else. 
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2 comments:

  1. Umm, #4 giving you grief again?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you suggesting that we order YODER can bacon by the case so we can get laid?kind a like pork so you can pork HER.

    ReplyDelete